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The 10 Sickest Burns Of Jon Hamm’s ESPYs Opening Monologue, Ranked

  • Eric Goldschein

jon hamm faceIt’s unclear whose idea it was to turn the opening monologue of every awards show into a light roasting of the attendees, but it’s now a time-honored tradition that we can never escape. What else would we do with ourselves — dive right into the awards after lauding everybody for their fashion sense and attractive spouses on the red carpet? We need a little levity to break things up, lest we find ourselves going from figurative to actual oral sex by the end of the program.

As you know, Jon Hamm — he of the Mad Men and the 30 Rock cameos and the Red Sox — was the host last night. He made fun of a lot of athletes during his opening monologue (or, we should say, his writers did). We already talked about one of the sickest sick burns, directed at Dwight Howard, but he had many sick burns to go around. Let’s rank his sick burns.


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