Video

Team USA Athletes Try To Speak In Cockney Slang, Are Not Good At Speaking In Cockney Slang

The Olympics are at least supposed to be about the nations of the world coming together, and while competing hard, also demonstrating mutual respect and sportsmanship and showing that no matter where people are from in the world, they can get past their differences and have sex get along. And it’s in that spirit that U.S. Olympic athletes filmed a series of videos posted on YouTube with the common theme: “Thank You Britain.”

A few of those videos, though, feature various Team USA members trying their hand at Cockney accents. These videos have been around for a while but just came to our attention today, thanks to Fourth-Place Medal, and… well, no one would expect these accents to be particularly good on the first try. The entertainment value is in the difficulty. But this is something beyond difficulty:

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

Maybe only the worst takes were uploaded? Maybe they weren’t really trying? We’ve got to step up our Cockney game; otherwise, the Brits can just point to Hugh Laurie and Idris Elba and be like, “Well, at least we have people who can imitate American accents.” And we will NOT STAND FOR THAT.