Although there seems to be literally no video evidence this shark “choked to death on a sea lion” is thE video, word is that whoever was brave enough to peek into the thing’s mouth found an aquatic mammal chilling there (dead, of course). Hey, sea lions are fucking huge and this shark looked to be about 13 feet long. We imagine it isn’t pleasant when a big ass sea lion goes down sideways, but is it enough to kill a shark?
According to Australian shark experts that your ex-girlfriends are probably dating, it might be.
“Such a large object may have damaged the shark’s internal organs or impeded water flow into his gills, contributing to his death,” Department of Fisheries scientist Dr. Rory McAuley said, as reported by The New York Post.
Considering that “choking” implies you stop getting oxygen, and sharks get oxygen by filtering water through their gills, the premise that it “choked to death” seems a bit shaky. The most likely scenario would appear to be that, in an effort to get the fucking St. Bernard-sized animal down its throat, the shark exhausted itself and eventually ran itself ashore.
Moral of the story? If you’re on Australia’s west coast right now, you might want to stick to the pool.