Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover model Kate Upton has been blitzing you lately, with appearances on late night talk shows, numerous magazines, and an SNL skit. Now, she’s in a new commercial for Carl’s Jr., in which she pretty much has sex with a hamburger.

“How are they staying there?” That was the question that was being asked, repeatedly, by the ladies in our office when they saw Kate Upton’s Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue cover. There were theories, of course, with photoshop being one of them.

In winning his second consecutive Australian Open, Novak Djokovic continued to amaze tennis fans with his level of play. But in addition to showing his spectacular tennis, TV cameras showed viewers quote a bit of Djokovic’s girlfriend too. After the jump, the internet version of that.

The Boston Herald is reporting that “ex party-boy” (huh?) Wes Welker is engaged to girlfriend and ex-Hooters girl Anna Burns. Oh, and also: he and Anna spend their time, according to the Herald, “at the local Whole Foods buying ingredients for eggplant parm.” Fantastic. Images, after the jump.

15 receptions, 276 yards, 1 touchdown. Some say Chad Ochocinco’s anemic 2011 stat line is due to advancing age. Others say it’s because he’s still getting used to Tom Brady in his first year with the Patriots. Our favorite (and admittedly crazy) theory: Chad has this to come home to.

Bernie Tomic was beaten in straight sets by Roger Federer 6-4, 6-2, 6-2, and his run at the Australian Open (his home country) is over. Sadly, with that goes the frequent shots of Tomic’s celebrated girlfriend, Donay Meijer. Join us for the best shots of Donay from the match with Federer, along with a final image of Tomic’s cheerleaders…

The Australian press gleefully refers to Bernard Tomic as a “brooding” tennis star, and the 19-year-old is also the country’s best young prospect. So when he showed up to the red carpet at the IMG Players’ Party, on the night before the Australian Open, with an attractive young lady in a short black dress, the Aussie press had a new object of affection for the week. Photos, after the jump.

Tebowmania gave us the internet fad known as “Tebowing,” that practice of kneeling down in prayer (which Tim Tebow likes to do, in case you were unaware) against increasingly wacky backdrops. Because Tebow’s inspiring run ended in New England on Saturday night, the country will (thankfully) get a momentary reprieve from Tebowmania. And what better way to mark this reprieve than with a gallery of Playboy playmates Tebowing? America!

Today in “things that make sense”: Cleveland Indians outfielder Grady Sizemore proposed to June 2007 Playboy Playmate Brittany Binger on Christmas. That’s her in the photos after the cut, all of which are safe for work and some of which have been expertly cropped so as to omit nipples. It’s a subtle art, folks.

God, what would we do without TMZ? Where would we go for reports like these (aptly tagged “STARS IN HEAT”), about A-Rod and WWE diva Torrie Wilson hanging out together in Miami, showing off their “lean, ripped physiques?”