Weird But True

Outrage! High School Girls Basketball Team Beats Opponent 107-2

Last night, the Bloomington South High School girls basketball team beat Arlington High School in Indianapolis by a final score of 107-2. Think about that for a second: 107-2. That’s not a girls basketball shellacking one simply forgets, but hopefully, there are life lessons to be learned here.

We all have that moment where we play an opponent who’s better than us — like, much better than us — and we realize we’re never making a living playing sports. (Unless you’re a professional athlete reading this right now, in which case I have to question why you’re a professional athlete reading this right now. Go outside.) The person or team responsible for our on-court humiliation has skills, both God-given and learned through hours of practice we didn’t put in because we were busy playing Dreamcast, that puts them at a place we can never see, much less be.

My moment of clarity came when I played an AAU basketball team in 7th grade, and the final score was something like 68-2. My final stat line: 0 points, 1 block, 1 dream deferred. Scarring, but ultimately helpful: if I wanted to carve out a place in the world, I realized it better not be by playing basketball. Otherwise, my place in the world would be quite shitty.

The Arlington High girls basketball team’s real-world crash course was particularly truth-laden, since their only two points came on foul shots in the second and third quarters. Naturally, the lopsided score has resulted in cries of “Unsportsman like..” well, something, because the person that left that Facebook comment didn’t finish his sentence on the WRTV Facebook page (when you’re leaving angry messages on a local news station’s Facebook page about a high school basketball blowout, sentences don’t need to be finished).

Middle America is seething, America. A sampling of comments left on WRTV’s wall underneath their game report:

WOW, COACHES SHOULD LOSE THESE JOBS, PLEASE PUT THEIR NAMES ONLINE …

You mean to tell me you cant score more than 2 points?????

how in the world do you only score two points?

It’s just plain wrong

wow there is something really wrong with the pairings in this area!!! How humiliating!! This shouldn’t have happened!

That last point is actually a good one. The Bloomington South powerhouse should’ve never been on the same court with Arlington, and it’s a point that the IHSAA concedes.

“(The score) is probably not what we would like to see,” said Chris Kaufman, spokesman for the Indiana High School Athletic Association.

It’s not something I like to see, either, since a score of 68-2 — fuck it, a score of 48-2, or 38-2 — gets the point across with less points on the scoreboard. (Seriously, head coach of Bloomington South, what the hell? I don’t think your NAME SHOULD BE PUT ONLINE like that angry local news viewer said, but jeez. You deserve a wedgie, at least.)

WRTV is looking for video of the game, according to whoever operates their Facebook page, but I really hope they don’t find it, because you have an easy enough time remembering games like this without a constant YouTube reminder. And to the Arlington high team: I hope you all become surgeons. Beautiful, beautiful surgeons, with lots of money and big apartments and handsome suitors.

It gets better, yo.

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