I’m sure competitive arm wrestling (as in, arm wrestling that isn’t just you and your drunk friends acting like morons in your basement) is very intense and you need to give it your all and you gotta let it all hang out and whatever. But this is just too much. Video after the jump.

How big is the starting nose tackle for your favorite NFL team? Pretty big, right? Over six feet tall, over 300 pounds, something like that? Whatever. He might as well be an easily frightened child in the presence of Hafthor Bjornsson, the 6’9”, 419-pound behemoth that the Colts might sign, according to owner Jim Irsay.

You’re an NBA free agent, reader. So am I. So is the dude who sold me a coffee this morning. So is your mother. So is Tiger Woods. And speaking of Tiger Woods, we have a drunk guy on the Internet to thank for this common sense discovery. He wrote the NBA a few weeks ago seeking eligibility for this year’s NBA Draft. And the NBA actually responded, with useful information.

It’s Prince Fielder’s birthday today, so you know what that means: It’s time to look at pictures of him when he was just the chubby little son of Cecil Fielder. Oh jeez, he’s so freakin’ adorable. And look at what he’s wearing, with his little Detroit Tigers hat and his… New York Football Giants t-shirt? And his… Chicago Cubs pants?

And the world awaits for a Kim Jong-un retweet.

Seriously, though. What happens when a bear (who kind of looks like Master Splinter from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, because of the low-quality video), competes in a bike race with a monkey, at a circus?