Weird But True

Video: World’s Slowest Sprinter Is Saddest, Best Thing You’ll See Today

Meet Sogelau Tuvalu, a 17-year-old track and field athlete from American Samoa who hoped to participate in the shot put at the World Championships in South Korea. When Tuvalu failed to qualify for that event, he instead set his sights on the 100 meters.

And although he trained “four hours a day for a month” leading up to his big race on Saturday, Tuvalu’s time was really, really slow. Like, “almost a world record” slow.

His reaction out of the block took .269 seconds, which, as you can see, put him behind early. He would finally cross the finish line after 15.66 seconds, which is the second-slowest 100 meter time in World Championship history.

Yahoo! Eurosport led off their recap of Tuvalu’s brush with history by being real dicks about it (emphasis ours):

An athlete from American Samoa delighted the crowd at the World Championships in Daegu by taking part in the 100m heats and clocking an extraordinary 15.66 seconds.

Meanwhile, Tuvalu is being suitably awesome, saying after the race: “I believed in myself. This is a dream come true.”

Not shockingly, Samoa has a history of producing historically slow sprinters. In 2001, 290-pound Trevor Misipeka ran a 100m time of 14.28 seconds in Edmonton, and earned the nickname Trevor “The Tortoise.” Oh, tiny South Pacific island nation of American Samoa, how you light up the world with your attempts at running fast.