It was 20 years ago today that the most infamous attack with a metal pipe took place in Detroit. It involved two figure skaters, a mastermind with a bad porn ‘stache, two other hapless conspirators (we’ll call them Shemp and Larry), and one of the most famous sports quotes of all time.
How has this not been a movie by now? Joaquin Phoenix’s career will have been a waste if he doesn’t star in this as Jeff Gillooly. M. Night Shyamalan can direct. Simply call it: “Why?”
Anyway, I am still scarred by this event. When Tonya Harding’s evil minion Shane Stant whacked Nancy Kerrigan on the kneecap six weeks before the ’94 Winter Olympics, I was forced to pay attention to figure skating for about a year. And for that, I do not forgive.
Of course you know that Kerrigan and Harding were skating rivals who were both competing for a spot on the U.S. Olympic team, and that Harding was married to Gillooly, who was later convicted of planning the pipe attack. Kerrigan recovered sufficiently to win Silver at the Lillehammer Games, and the three men were given jail terms.
Harding was convicted of conspiracy, but only got probation. She continues to maintain that she only knew about the plot after the fact, but did not report it. Prosecutors say that’s BS, and of course she had to have known.
Now in a new ESPN documentary, Harding says that she was the real victim, not Kerrigan. The whole story made her life a living hell, says Harding, and ruined her chances for fame. Except for her celebrity boxing career, that is.
Watch the ABC report below. When Harding begins to speak, it only takes a few seconds to confirm that she is, as my uncle would say, a trailer park wingnut. I’d just call her unusual, and perhaps a concussion victim.
Here’s a timeline of events if you’re so inclined to go back 20 years. Also mentioned from that year: O.J. Simpson’s Bronco chase!