Not in 61 years has Los Angeles experienced such devastation as it did on Thursday, when the Dodgers were ousted from the MLB playoffs and Stanford trounced UCLA in football.
As we know from our history books, 1954 was the year that giant, mutated ants were created during a nuclear accident in New Mexico, and soon emerged in Los Angeles via the concrete spillways and sewers (at least according to the movie Them!). A mighty battle ensued which left much of the southland in rubble, ending only when James Arness killed the giant insects with a flamethrower.
Cut to modern times (yesterday, to be specific), as the Dodgers lose to the Mets 3-2 to be ousted from the playoffs. That brings their string of seasons without an NL pennant to 27. Of course in most industrialized nations, that would mean relegation. But not here.
The Dodgers will still be around MLB in 2016 to amaze us with another shitty manager, loads more money tossed into the Rabbit Hole and Magic Johnson scouring the want ads for talent.
Meanwhile, Stanford embarrassed UCLA 56-35, highlighted by Francis Owusu’s unlikely catch for a TD that is still trending in Heaven. Fun fact: Owusu interned for my friend’s tech company this past summer. Silicon Valley represent.
Also Thursday, Master P. told TMZ that Kobe Bryant is a phony who should have done more to help Lamar Odom. Could things get any worse in LA? Well the NFL is coming soon, so we’ll see.
An overview of Thursday in LA: