Ten Reasons To Hate Garfield: Brought To You By The ECHL Indy Fuel
The Indy Fuel are an ECHL Western Conference hockey team from, of course, Indianapolis, which might explain how this promotion got off the ground. Jim Davis, author of the Garfield comic strip, is also from Indiana -- Marion, to be exact.
And so 40 or so innocent athletes will be forced to don these uniforms depicting a slovenly cat and his dimwit dog pal on Saturday, as the Fuel take on the visiting Evansville Icemen.
Garfield, it should be mentioned, is the most widely-circulated comic strip in the world, and has spawned TV series, more than one movie, and more toys and other products than can be pointed at with a stick. There is one reason to love this promotion, and several reasons to hate it. Let's begin.
Several of the game-worn jerseys will be auctioned on Saturday, with a portion of the proceeds going to the Shelter Pet Project. I can't imagine what you;d do with one of these garments, but it is for a worthy cause.
1. Even as a child I hated Garfield. The jokes were lame, I never cared about the main characters, and their world just seemed to exist on a flat surface, like the state in which it was born. Nothing happened in that strip. I loved Bloom County and Calvin & Hobbes and Doonesbury and Dilbert and The Far Side and Mutts. All of those were about something. They made you think, and even on days that they didn't, they made you laugh. Garfield has been the same joke for 38 years.
2. Garfield is written by a cat person. Jim Davis grew up with about two dozen cats, and although he now owns a dog, he obviously hates them. Odie is an imbecile, while Garfield, while flawed, is the clever one.
3. Davis is obviously a talented artist, but he wastes that talent, using static panels in which nothing ever happens in the background.
4. Garfield likes lasagna. We know. Even the Catskills comics changed up their acts every few years or so.
5. Jon Arbunkle, Garfield's owner, has been single since the 1970s. It's time to admit that he was comics' first gay main character. Why is he afraid to come out? What evil hold does The Garfield Corp. have on him?
6. Garfield seems to exist for the sole purpose of making money. Davis' Paws Inc. employs 50 people who oversee licensing and other business concerns for his global empire. Garfield is a corporation, not a comic.
7. Remember the woman in that AT&T commercial who tapes photographs to the wall of her living room, and has to call you over for a visit in order to "unfriend" you? She's the typical Garfield fan.
8. A parody comic strip, Garfield Minus Garfield, is funny and widely popular. If you can remove the main character from a comic strip and make it better, that speaks volumes.
9. Has Garfield ever once played hockey?
10. You have no idea what's in Jon's mug. Go ahead and assume it's coffee, but you don't know.
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