The London Olympics Will Feature A Record Number Of Free Condoms. Of Course They Will.

  • Glenn Davis

You’ve been hearing a lot about Olympian sex around here lately, from anonymous accounts of how much sex is had to a list of facts to know about how much sex is had. What it boils down to: there’s a lot of sex happening in Olympic Village, and with a lot of sex comes a lot of condoms – 100,000 condoms provided to athletes at the Beijing Olympics, to be exact.

The liberal rubber provision, however, never seems to be enough. This may be because athletes really are getting down and dirty at such incredibly prodigious rates, or because they take all the condoms as a joke just so the supply will run out (and people like us will then write “WHOA LOOK AT ALL THIS OLYMPIC-STYLE BANGIN'” posts as a result). Either way, what’s clear is that the condom supply tends to run out. So what solution did Olympic-condom-provider Durex devise? Simple, according to the Daily Mail: provide a whole damn mess of condoms:

In a sign of what the world’s fittest sportsmen and women get up to in the Olympic village, a record 150,000 free condoms – 15 for each competitor – have been made available to them.

So these are either going to be the sexiest Olympics yet, or the hardest yet at which to pull off the “take all the condoms” prank. And if they exhaust the supply – which would be impressive – Durex will just deliver more. We’d talk about the great perks of being an Olympian, but we know better. Dammit, these people deserve their free condoms. It’s not like most of them are getting much else. Except LAAAAAAAIIIIIIID WOOOOOOOOO [pelvic thrust] [pelvic thrust] HOO HOO HOO HOO [fist pump] [pelvic thrust]

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