The Timberwolves’ Brad Miller Will Retire After This Season To Spend More Time Shooting Stuff

  • Sarah Devlin

Ah, fame! After appearing in one season of Country Boys Outdoors, a Sportsman Channel show that won a 2009 Sportsman Choice Award and definitely sounds like porn, Minnesota Timberwolves center Brad Miller announced that he will retire after this season. Well, actually he said, “It’s time to concentrate on ‘Country Boys.’ I’m done.” It seems that the show fills a void in his heart that basketball couldn’t, and why not? He gets to travel around with his “long-time friend Jon Brunson” killing stuff all over the world!

I recognize that I’m not the target audience for this, but when I took a glance at the “Country Boys” clips available on YouTube, I found myself watching a 44-second video of Brad “setting up his bow getting ready to whack a hog in Florida” that is almost entirely wordless, and partially shot from behind a desiccated log — I suppose to make the composition more interesting? Or to make Brad seem comparatively livelier (BOOM!)?

On the same Youtube channel, you can also watch a 34-second clip of Brad whispering to the camera with an unsettling smile about being “in the middle of nowhere in Canada” hoping to track down and shoot a bear with the bow and arrow that he’s holding in his hands. Chilling! The coup de grâce in this whole operation is the final clip, in which Brad holds forth on the “true redneck” versus “American way” of fixing flat tires, which is followed by a close-up of him tightening the bolts on one of his truck’s hubcaps.

On the one hand, Miller stands to earn $5.1 million next season if the Timberwolves renew his contract. On the other, he clearly feels a driving need to bring more big game hunting home video footage to the American people. It’s not a decision I can understand, but I guess it’s one I can respect. Find your bliss, Brad!