John Oliver Vs. FIFA Is One Of The Greatest Vendettas In Human History
Rick Chandler 12:23 pm, July 27th, 2015
The worst thing that ever happened to FIFA was when John Oliver got his HBO show. Oliver is a rabid soccer fan -- so much so that he was convinced as a child that he would one day play the sport professionally, and both he and his father were crushed when that never happened.
So he's had a wonderful time lambasting the organization during its recent corruption scandal, devoting segments of his show to it the way that David Letterman devoted time to the Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinski story. Sunday was no exception, with Oliver describing FIFA as "A national crime syndicate that occasionally organizes soccer matches."
The segment centered on FIFA's sponsors, which don't like the way that the organization is responding to the scandal so far, and are getting very nervous. One of those is McDonald's. Oliver:
"Wow. You know your organization is in trouble when McDonald's says it is 'Not satisfied.' This is coming from the maker of grayish-brown meat circles, tiny condensed chicken mistakes, and, once a year, shamrock shakes, aka a leprechaun's diarrhea."
Haha. "Tiny condensed chicken mistakes" may be my second-favorite Oliver-ism of the season, next to, of course, his describing the Milwaukee Bucks' motto "Fear the Deer" thusly:
"Deer are not scary. They are timid forest ponies with sticks on their heads."