Mike Francesa Takes Great Prank Calls, Handles Them With Whatever The Opposite Of Aplomb Is

  • Jordan Rabinowitz

Mike Francesa is a blowhard. But sometimes, the ol’ bear blows so hard that he needs to catch some zzzz’s — and sometimes, he needs to do it on-air. Then he’ll deny deny deny. And it was all good until that step. If only Mikey fessed up to his makeshift shut-eye, he wouldn’t have had to field hilarious harassing calls on his show. Or maybe he would, but he wouldn’t have been such a doucher about it.

Francesa keeps his callers on a short leash on a normal day. So when “Ken on the cell phone”, “Charlie in Queens”, and “Justin in Queens” wait on the line as long as an hour to have a little fun at Mike’s expense for the whole tri-state area to bear witness, the 25-year radio vet did not take it too well.

“I’m still gonna be here tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day and get paid a fortune to sit here and do this, so.”

Miiiiiiiiiiiiike. The best way to win listeners back in your favor is probably not reminding them that you make truckloads of money by sitting and talking about sports all day and they don’t. Also, your extrapolation on the Smurfs and your contemplation of your imaginary demographic of four- and five-year-olds didn’t help you much either. In fact, I’m sure plenty of toddlers listen to your show, and they all take a quick nap when Sweeny Murti does his segment too.

You’re actually not too unlike a toddler, Mike. You throw temper tantrums, you tend to cut people off in the middle of a sentence, you stoop to childish comebacks against callers, you constantly require some sort of beverage, and of course, you randomly fall asleep. It took until you reminded me you were filthy rich and I wasn’t before I realized you are actually a grown man.

[h/t Bob’s Blitz]