Just A PSA That There Is A German Hockey Goalie Named Patrick Fücker

  • Glenn Davis

We’re sure Patrick Fücker is a humble guy just trying to make his way. The 19-year-old has been a competitive hockey player in Germany for years now, working his way through the nation’s junior ranks and last month moving to the Rostock Piranhas, who play in Germany’s third-highest league. Just a guy who apparently loves the Rangers and trying to play the game he loves for a living.

But he’s more than that. He had to be more than that. Because his name is out on the internet. And his last name is Fücker. Someone was going to find it eventually, and they were going to love it, and they were going to send it to Puck Daddy’s Greg Wyshynski, and he was going to love it. Who wouldn’t love a name like this, except Patrick Fücker himself, when he’s around English-speakers? We encounter names we love all the time, but this may be the best of them.

And that’s why we have to hope against hope that Fücker one day makes it to the NHL. Granted, the third-best league in Germany is a long, long way from there (and these last couple GAAs look pretty high), but can you imagine the clusterFück that would ensue each time Fücker’s name had to be mentioned? The stifled giggles? The uncomfortable announcers? The jersey sales? The puns? (If you thought the Meet the Parents series was shameless, it would have nothing on the Patrick Fücker era. See a couple lines in this post as an example.)

But as of now, that looks unlikely – and thanks to the internet, that’s okay. If we can educate just a few people on the majesty of Patrick Fücker’s name, that will be a day well-spent. He has brought joy to people he will probably never meet. Much as we’d like to think a name that good is destined to explode onto the scene and find the largest audience possible, at least it’s reached some of us, and we are forever grateful. Kudos, Patrick. You, truly, are a real Fücker.

[h/t Brian Neall, via Greg Wyshynski]

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