Rest Assured, Citizens? Monkeys To Patrol India’s Commonwealth Games
Critics have lined up in recent weeks to take shots at India’s preparations for the upcoming Commonwealth Games, a quadrennial Olympic-style competition for members of the Commonwealth of Nations (some 71 nations and territories throughout the world, most of whom are former British colonies).
First, there was the collapse of a pedestrian footbridge at the Games' main venue, the Jawaharlal Nehru Stadium in New Delhi, which injured dozens of workers. Then there were complaints about the sanitary conditions of newly-erected residences for athletes, some of which were labeled borderline uninhabitable by visitors and threatened to derail the scheduled Sept. 30 date of arrival for all participants.
Adding to the controversy was the shooting of two tourists in Delhi near the Jama Masjid mosque and an announcement that the Indian Mujahedeen, an organization recognized as a terrorist group by the Indian government, would be targeting the Games.
And to top it off, the Indian government has come under fire for installing massive banners designed to hide the city’s shantytowns and homeless settlements, while also rounding up beggars and panhandlers to remove them from international view (something that seems to be all the rage these days).
But the Indian government does have a solution: monkey cops!
That’s right, monkey cops. Apparently, in a country where diseases such as Dengue fever are a very real threat, one of the major threats to human visitors is a certain species of monkey, the Common Indian Bonnet macaque. The species is pervasive in the area, even in ostensibly urban areas, and has been known to aggressively attack humans.
Enter the monkey cops. Squadrons of trained slender-tail Langurs will be on patrol near stadium venues and in the athletes’ village to repel any rogue macaques. According to Metro UK, this species of Langurs are extremely efficient at deterring macaque attacks, with a relatively small number able to keep a comparatively large macaque population in check. Apparently, it's a fairly common practice on the subcontinent.
Since the Langurs are so efficient in preventing macaque attacks, it’s likely that any surplus primate police could be utilized in counterterrorism maneuvers (though the only things in their holsters would likely be bananas).
It is also believed that New Delhi law enforcement has had undercover Langurs infiltrating macaque populations for months and that a sting operation is imminent, though we can’t confirm with any government officials just yet. Or perhaps we could have the Langurs try their hand at welding and sheet metal work.
I write about monkey cops; you want to follow me on Twitter @sportsdoctormd
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