Touchdown Jesus Statue Destroyed by Lightning, or the Top 5 Reasons God is Mad at Football

  • Lindsay Van Kirk

This morning Ohioans driving on I-75 mourn the destruction of the famed “King of Kings” statue, which stood 6 stories tall outside of the non-denominational Solid Rock Church in Monroe, OH.

The statue, nicknamed “Touchdown Jesus” because the arms put him in position to catch the winning toss (we think he could be signaling a completed field-goal) had become a southwestern Ohio landmark. All that remains is the steel frame upon which the 62-foot-tall symbol of salvation was built.


This is clearly a tragedy for the church and the community. However, we can’t help but wonder if perhaps all of the shake-ups and missteps that have been happening in the world of football lately have, frankly, made God a little bit mad. We present the top 5 reasons that God may have taken Touchdown Jesus away from sportsfans:

NCAA Conference Shake-Ups

Our very own Glenn Davis has been following the NCAA Football conference shifting very closely, and although we recently have Texas (and apparently a number of mystery people behind the scenes) to thank for keeping our beloved Big 12 in tact, we have to admit that we were scared. The conference expansion plans looked like they would change the landscape of college football permanently. We’re glad that NCAA officials have gotten the message, with this little exclamation point from the Big Man.

USC Sanctions

In other college football news, the NCAA came down on USC with heavy-handed sanctions for their improper recruiting practices. Not only will they forfeit their 2004 national championship win, they will lose 30 scholarships and will be banned from the post-season for the next two years. I’m sure that this current Act of God does not even begin to display the anger and dismay felt by many of the current program’s players, fans, and alumni.


Much like my beloved Hoyas used to, I think that the NFL Players Association can begin the “God’s on our side” chant. In challenging the TV contracts made by the league, the players association is arguing that, in an attempt to ensure their own profitability should there be a player lockout, the NFL has an unfair advantage with TV contracts guaranteeing revenue even if no games air. From ESPN:

“The union, in its filing, argues that the NFL’s guaranteed $4 billion in television revenues combined with the elimination of $4.4 billion in player salaries would make 2011 a profitable season for the owners even if no football is played because of a lockout.”

Watch out, NFL owners. Greed is most definitely on the list of Seven Deadly Sins.

Tom Brady’s Zac Efron Haircut

I think this photo says it all.

VuVuzelas (In THE OTHER Football)

In an event designed to bring peoples of the world together, the Vuvuzela seems to be tearing factions into a population otherwise united in their hatred of France. The FIFA-BAN THE VUVUZELA (HORN) FROM THE SOUTH AFRICA WORLD CUP! Facebook page has upwards of 201,192 fans at our last check-in. I think that the constant buzzing from South Africa has made even the Big Guy feel like he’s in the middle of a Honey I Shrunk The Kids remake (see minute 7 of the clip for full reference).