Chris Broussard’s ‘Sources’ Revealed In Latest NBA Insider Leak
When Chris Broussard dishes some exclusive dirt on the back-room NBA chatter, people listen. That's partly because he's right from time to time, but mostly because everyone wants to hear dirt regardless of whether it's true or not.
He's like the Vince McMahon of the NBA, fabricating story-lines to keep you engaged. We're not complaining -- we also enjoy hearing about guys like Carmelo Anthony telling Tim Hardaway Jr. "he was going to beat him up when they got into the locker room after the game." If it's even slightly true, it's still a thrilling mental image.
Thank you for that much, Chris.
But we can't get over the guy's reliance on the word "sources." He uses it 13 times in his latest pipping hot NBA drama scoop. If these people were given real names, they'd probably be less likely to lead Broussard on those wild goose chases he routinely takes ESPN readers on. Sure, they wouldn't tell him shit if their identities were revealed, but at least Broussard wouldn't get to speak so matter-of-factly about the complex, evolving nature of internal conflicts inside NBA locker rooms.
Even he has a legitimate source and they are, in fact, relaying accurate information, what's to say he isn't adding his own bullshit to their story? Moreover, what's to say Broussard isn't blending accurate intel with the bullshit of some other misinformed mole? It's just hilarious to see how much he infers from such a vague-sounding nexus of god-knows-whats.
Which got us thinking: What if Chris Broussard is protecting his "sources" because they aren't even human at all? What if knowing of their very existence could potentially upset our understanding of the universe, so Broussard has taken it upon himself to hide them like Splinter hid the Ninja Turtles?
What if they have the ability to control the physical world through supernatural means?
OUR sources tell us we're on to something here.
Using what the ancient Druids call "a truth stone," which is essentially a thin shard of quartz that has been buried beneath the magnetic North Pole for 3,000 years, we've revealed what Broussard is actually saying when he cites nameless, faceless NBA informants.
Behold, today's article on the turmoil inside the Knicks locker room, decoded:
Screenshots via ESPN.com
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