Jacked 5-Year-Old Does Push-Ups On Bottles
One of the distinguishing characteristics of a child is its relative lack of strength. Let's face it: kids are weak little pussies, both mentally and physically. You know this. I know this. That's why we have to chauffeur them around in a small armored buggy for years, until they get it together and decide to start moving around on their own two legs. Don't tell them we said this, but kids are kind of pathetic in just about every way imaginable.
Not this one, though. He's a total f-ing monster, what with his Shaolin bottle push-ups and oddly developed muscle groups. If this little guy was my kid, he'd have unrestricted access to an overstocked candy cabinet and he'd never have to go to school (I refuse to get on a baby Navy SEAL's shit list).
Watch a dad show off his ridiculously jacked toddler in front of what appears to be a large framed portrait of a shirtless Jean Claude Van Damme, below...
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