ESPYS SNUB: Where Was The Award For Soccer Cockatoo?
We get it. The ESPY Awards are supposedly about "homo erectus" who play "organized sports" and their "compelling stories" that can "motivate people" to live "better lives." Fine. But let's not kid ourselves about the real driving force behind the sports world's Oscars: television ratings. ESPN knows that it has to convince people to tune in, so they pick who gets the awards and who will present those awards based on some silly popularity metric, like who has the most Twitter followers, or their own TV show -- or who is about to have a TV show after gracing the cover of every major magazine in the world over the last six months.
I think you know where I'm going with all this...
Where was soccer cockatoo last night? I'll tell you where -- not at the ESPYs accepting an award for being the greatest thing in the history of things. A total snub. That's complete and utter bullshit.
How petty? How political? If it wasn't clear before, there's no question about it now: the ESPY Awards are a intricate ruse to pull in TV ratings. If they were really about "excellence in sport," soccer cockatoo would've been up there pulling in every...single...damn...trophy, all damn night. Oh, and don't give me that "she/he is technically a 'bird' who plays a very simplified version of 'soccer' on a 'bed' and then 'does a funny little dance'" garbage. None of that should mean he/she isn't deserving of the same attention as the countless other athletes who were honored Wednesday night.
Seriously, just look at this. It's incredible. You should all be ashamed.
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