Russian Youth Table Tennis Loser Shoves Ump Out Of Chair, Possibly Says, ‘If He Dies, He Dies.”
A video making the rounds this week, sure to land on Tosh.0, is the final point of a youth table tennis match in Russia. The loser, apparently sore about how East Berlin went down a few decades back, shoved the umpire right out of his chair after shaking hands (like a good loser) with the winner.
There are several questions I have about this whole situation.
1. Why is a child umpiring this match? Can you imagine if pee-wee football had pee-wee referees? Or if high school basketball had high school kid referees? The nerds would get even MORE control over our sports!
2. Do the adults ignore the violent outbreak because this kid is Vladimir Putin’s teenage boy? Or are they just indifferent to all losers, much like Ivan Drago was.
3. Did the ump fix the match because he got bribed with borscht roll-ups earlier at lunch?
4. Was the ump shipped off to Siberia to referee table tennis matches up there, after he pussied out when he walked up to the loser after, choosing to just throw the paddle instead? (That should have been a Joe Pesci beatdown with a ping-pong paddle. The kid would have been legendary!)
5. Can Rocky Balboa’s pussy son play table tennis?
6. Is it time we send Terry Crews over to play youth table tennis in Russia?
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