Surfers have it made. With their stupid muscles and dumb flowing hair, not only do they look better than everyone else on the beach, they're actively showing our girlfriends how much more athletic they are than us. It's depressing. So every once and awhile, God decides to give them a reality check and make us chubby land-lovers look like sensible adults with a respectable configuration of priorities. That's sexy, right? Kimberly, come back! I miss you.
Enter Tom Dosland, who essentially base jumped off a moving body of water last Wednesday at the Jaws break off Maui's north shore (which looked even worse than Garrett McNamara's fall at Nazaré.)