The Day That Abraham Lincoln Felt Up Doris Kearns Goodwin

  • Rick Chandler

I’m a big fan of This Old House, as every manly man should be. But something happened on the PBS show recently that kind of rocked my world, so I thought I’d share.

There the guys were in the workshop, just after a demonstration of how to fix a window slider, when in popped author Doris Kearns Goodwin. What.

On the table was a bronze hand. What.


“It belongs to a man I’ve lived with for ten years. I woke up with him in the morning, I’ve thought about him when I went to bed at night …”

Oh, Henry Ford.

“It’s Abraham Lincoln.”

Ha. Almost as funny.

Of course Goodwin meant that she’s written about Lincoln so often that that she has figuratively lived with him. Turns out that Lincoln’s hands were cast in bronze after winning the Republican nomination in 1860, as Goodwin explained to the guys. And somehow the hands, and Goodwin, ended up on Ask This Old House. Unorthodox, but OK. This is PBS. But then she took it to an entirely different, weirder level.

Just start watching at about the 3:10 mark.

Did Abraham Lincoln just molest Doris Kearns Goodwin on TV? Let posterity show that it was mostly her fault.