Vermin Supreme Is Back Running For President — Promises Free Ponies, Time Travel
A judge today blocked an attempt by the Republican Party to exclude Donald Trump from the New Hampshire ballot, and Ben Carson became the last candidate to file for the primary.
But the important news is that Vermin Supreme has filed, and this time he means business.
— Chris Ryan (@wkxlnhchris) November 20, 2015
Not familiar with Vermin Supreme? Here's a primer:
-- Supreme, who legally changed his name in the 1990s and has never revealed his birth name, has been running in various local and national elections since 1987. This is his third Presidential run.
-- Is known for wearing a boot as a hat and carrying a large toothbrush. In 2012, ran on campaign promise to make brushing your teeth mandatory.
-- Crowdsourced his $1,000 New Hampshire filing fee.
-- Is running this year on a platform of free ponies for everyone, and going back in time to defeat ISIS.
-- Has filed this year as a Democrat, after running as a Republican in 2012. (Correction: ran as a Republican in 2008, and for the Free Pony Party in 2012).
-- During filing process, yelled for help when he was surrounded by media.
-- New Hampshire Union-Leader: Supreme pushed his “pony economy” and said he would win the war with ISIS by putting 'hoofs on the ground.' "
In his favor is the fact that Vermin was the first candidate to propose going back in time to kill baby Hitler, in 2012.
So we normally wouldn't give a candidate who wears a boot on his head any publicity at all. But when you compare, are his ideas really any crazier than Trump's or Carson's?
TRUMP: We'll deport all 10 million undocumented aliens.
CARSON: The Great Pyramids of Giza were built by Joseph to store grain.
VERMIN SUPREME: One of government's top priorities should be zombie apocalypse awareness.
Can you really blame Mr. Supreme for recognizing that U.S. politics has become performance theater? He at once amuses us, and explains the existence of Trump, Carson and Sarah Palin, who are/were closer to the Oval Office than any rational person is comfortable thinking about. Heck, they elected Arnold Schwarzenegger Governor of California in a 2003 recall election where among the other candidates were Gary Coleman and Larry Flynt.
So rev up that zombie awareness platform, Mr. Supreme. You've got a winning strategy in this fear-mongering political climate.
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