World Chess President Says He Was Abducted By Space Aliens, Who Also Invented Chess
Well, if there's one thing we know, international chess is in good hands. Kirsan Ilyumzhinov has been president of the World Chess Federation -- world governing body of the sport -- since 1995. He's also the former president of the Russian republic of Kalmykia.
Ilyumzhinov is back in the news because he's being drafted to run for president of FIFA, potentially replacing fun-loving former head Sepp Blatter. We all know that Sepp was crazy, and what that organization needs is a steady hand to guide it into the future.
And who better than Ilyumzhinov, who claims that he was once abducted by space aliens and taken onto their ship?
* Record scratch *
Yep, in a 2007 interview he gave for an Al Jazeera news report, Ilyumzhinov claims that, while in Moscow to meet with Vladimir Putin in 1997, he was taken from his apartment by extraterrestrials, and spent a whole day on their spaceship.
That's great, Kirsan, but now we've got to get you back to your rubber room.
Ilyumzhinov has not yet decided if he will run for president of FIFA, which will hold an election to replace Blatter by December.
"It was not in our Russian space vehicles, but with aliens," Ilyumzhinov said. "They came in a flying saucer, picked me up, and I spent a whole day in outer space. It was from my apartment. They flew in and picked me up. They were wearing yellow spacesuits. I remember this moment exactly. We went off to their interplanetary ship, and I started to feel a lack of air, a lack of oxygen. They gave me a spacesuit as well.
"One of the aliens pointed to his chest and indicated that the oxygen supply could be regulated by turning a dial. So this is what I did.
"The ship was absolutely enormous. One of its chambers was the size of a large football pitch. We landed on one of the planets and picked up some piece of equipment. They told me everything in detail. I asked them to take me back to Earth as quickly as possible, because in two days I had to conduct Youth Government Week. And then they brought me back and everything was normal again.
"A few days later I was walking along thinking: 'Why did they take me?' And I was cursing myself for not asking them any questions. But it is possible that it is still not the time for us to meet these extraterrestrial civilizations."
Ilyumzhinov says that he's convinced that chess comes from outer space. The proof is that the rules of the game are the same no matter where you go on Earth. Or, as it turns out, among the stars.
At any rate, he's a shoo-in for FIFA president. There should be no problem with honesty -- he has that in abundance. The only problem could be his travel expense account, which will be enormous.
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