Your Spoiler-Infested ‘Game Of Thrones’ Review: Season 7, Episode 1

Your Spoiler-Infested ‘Game Of Thrones’ Review: Season 7, Episode 1
  • Rick Chandler

What we’ve learned so far:

* Getting permission from Professor Slugworth to enter the restricted section of the library was much easier for Tom Riddle than it was for Sam Tarley.

* I won’t pay for the Mayweather-McGregor fight, but I’d pay to see Lyanna Mormont put Trump in his place every time he says something sexist or moronic.

* The Hound wins every single scene he’s in.

* One would think someone would have thought to burn dead giants. Seems like a rather glaring oversight.

* “Ed Sheehan” was trending on Twitter Sunday night, even though his name is “Ed Sheeran.”

Game of Thrones is in no danger of jumping the shark — especially not in a premiere episode. But I have to admit I was a little nervous when I heard Sheeran singing around the campfire as Arya rode up. But I count my blessings — those soldiers could have been the band Train.

Word is that Maisie Williams, who plays Arya, is a big Sheeran fan, and the producers wrote him in as a gift to her. Yeah, too bad she’s gonna have to kill him.

That song, Hands of Gold, was written by George R.R. Martin, and was in Storm of Swords, the third novel. In the book it was sung by a minstrel who was trying to blackmail Tyrion, threatening to expose his relationship with Shae.

Arya’s Standup Set Absolutely Kills

GOT7Freys

It seems that Arya wasn’t done when she baked Walder Frey’s sons into a pie, watched him eat some of it, and then slit the old man’s throat. She stayed after to clean up, then arranged a dinner party with “all the Freys who mean anything to anyone” in attendance, and slaughtered them, too. It was the wine, of course. But one thing I realized as I watched is that she had to have been disguised as Walder Frey for at least a week, in order to give all the Freys time to come back to the Twins. That’s dedication.

Sansa Rocks Cersei’s old hairstyle while talking about cersei

Anyone else find this a bit ominous?

“That part is still wet, your Grace. Don’t step … doh!”

NOTES: Episode 1 had 16.1 million viewers, breaking all HBO records, according to Forbes. … That makes sense, as HBO’s live stream feed crashed for the second season in a row. … If you need to know how many Freys Arya poisoned, our final tally is 51.