McDonald’s All-Day Breakfast Begins Today … But Already The Nation Is Divided
McDonald's is serving breakfast all day starting today, and to be clear, it's even being served in states that haven't legalized marijuana. I know -- makes no sense. Anyway, here is the best tweet about it so far:
You're serving breakfast all day, McDonald's, not curing cancer. Calm down.
— Steve McPherson (@steventurous) October 6, 2015
To some, however, this is Earth-shattering news. Imagine, pancakes all day! Syrup on your cheeseburger! While the all-day breakfast is a limited menu, and 10 percent of stores don't even serve hash browns (Egg McMuffin and fries?), mostly Americans are rejoicing.
But hidden in the shadows of today's news lies a dark divide. The U.S., which has become so fractured ideologically these past few years, is split once again. Take a look at the map below.
That's right -- some states are Muffin states, and some are Biscuit states. You can't have both. You can have an egg and cheese McMuffin, or an egg and cheese McBiscuit -- depending on whether or not you live in the south.
A McDonald's All-Day Breakfast play, in one act
MAN WALKS INTO McDONALD'S
MAN: "I'll have an Egg and Sausage McMuffin, please."
The store goes instantly quiet. Men in overalls, women in plain dresses and others in white suits, black bow ties and straw hats stare menacingly at man. The kids in the ball pit stop cavorting, and one begins crying softly.
CLERK: You ain't from around here, are you?"
MAN: "Why no, I'm from Detroit."
CLERK: "Well Detroit, if you want to leave here in one peace, you'll order the SAUSAGE McBISCUIT, with extra gravy!"
MAN: "Look I don't want any trouble. I'm just hungry."
GUY AT JUKEBOX: (Plays song by "Alabama", pounds fist into palm).
Man makes a run for it. McDonald's patrons give chase, slowly, and with much wheezing, as we ...
Yes, there's a jukebox in a McDonald's. We're not curing cancer here -- calm down.
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