Bradley Cooper May Land Lance Armstrong Biopic That Everyone Really Wants To See, Right?

  • Joe Levine

Tired of Lance Armstrong? Too bad, because Hollywood isn’t and there now working on bringing you a biopic about the man starring someone you’re definitely not tired of either, right?

Paramount Pictures is developing a biopic about the disgraced cyclist with producer J.J. Abrams already attached. Now, Bradley Cooper has expressed interest in the part. I guess the idea is to pack as many unlikeability into this thing as possible? Is Ashton Kutcher not available? When does shooting on “jOBS” wrap?

To be fair, I’m sure Cooper and Abrams are nice people. Still, as much as a Lance Armstrong biopic sounds completely unwatchable (Which scenes are you looking forward to? Him injecting HGH? Cheating on his wife with Sheryl Crow? Lying to his children? What a fun time.), it’s only cemented as such with the names attached to it so far. I have as much interest in seeing a J.J. Abrams-Bradley Cooper sports drama as I do seeing, well, cycling. I’ll just hold out hope that they don’t make the whole thing uncanny valley-style.