Michael Phelps, Repeat Asshole, Arrested For DUI In Baltimore
Eric Goldschein 12:40 pm, September 30th, 2014
TMZ Sports reports that 18-time gold medal-winner Michael Phelps was arrested in Baltimore early this morning for driving under the influence. This is Phelps' second DUI -- the first one dates back to when the swimmer was 19 and could be forgiven, somewhat, for being a dumb asshole. That is not the case for this charge.
What in the actual fuck, Mike? Are you serious with this bullshit? Going almost twice the limit, while YOU are almost twice the legal limit, in the middle of the night? Newflash, buddy: Being an Olympic hero was enough to let you slide when you were smoking weed at that college party and at the club. If you want to smoke weed in someone's house, go ahead -- you earned it. But nothing ever, ever gives you the right to get behind the wheel of a two-ton hunk of metal and hurtle it down the road, endangering the lives of people who made the mistake of living near you (which, to be fair, why does anyone live in Baltimore?).
Let's check in with 19-year-old Phelps, to see what he said about drunk driving following his first arrest in 2004:
Last week, I made a mistake. Getting in a car with anything to drink is wrong, dangerous and unacceptable. I'm 19 but was taught no matter how old you are, you should always take responsibility for your actions, which I will do. I'm extremely sorry for this.
It's been 10 years. Phelps is now 29. Is he somehow dumber now than he was then?
Mike, you're a millionaire. Take a god damn cab if you're drunk. Stop screwing with people's lives, including your own, especially if you want to swim competitively again. Or, you know, be a decent human being who is worthy of walking around outside of prison.
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