Big Ten Basketball Player Details How Much Sex He Has In New York Magazine
October 22 / Jake O'Donnell / SportsGrid
Sex: people have it. Hopefully you knew this already (no shame if you didn't). In the event you didn't, it's really really fun. In the event you're a D-I athlete at a major college basketball program, well, fuck you. Thanks to some annonymous, over-sexed Big Ten basketball player, we now know that at least some Big Ten basketball players have so much of the sexy sex that they actually get kind of bored with it.
"It gets old sometimes, sleeping with people and having it not mean anything," said the guy who doesn't realize he has the option to NOT have anonymous sex all the goddamn time.
"I did have a girlfriend once for like three and a half years, and sex was much better when you were emotionally attracted to that person. There’s times now where I definitely want a girlfriend. But at the same time in my head I’m like, How am I supposed to know if she likes me for me or because I’m an athlete?"
Hmmm, that's an interesting point you bring up. How can you really know what another autonomous being feels or thinks? Ya know what, instead of trying to figure out the ulterior motives of some groupie, maybe try dating someone who doesn't give a shit about Big Ten athletics. Problem: solved.
"I have girls at several Big Ten schools who will come to my hotel room when I’m on the road. Before I go to bed, we’ll hook up, and then I just pass out. I’ve made the mistake of having them stay over, but they keep me up, and then I’m really tired the next day when I have a game. Now I politely ask them to leave, or I just turn over and go to bed and they get the point. They seem fine with it."
I hate you. Go on...
"Sometimes the guys on the team get competitive about sex. Our freshman summer we actually made it a competition: Who could have sex with the most girls. We had a point system, and we called ourselves the EFC: Elite Fucking Committee. We’d keep track and meet up on Sunday and tell stories."
A committee? A point system? The NCAA runs athletes' sex lives as well?!?!
"I’m actually starting to think about how my sex life will change after school. It depends on how my career goes. If I go pro, it’ll be professional jersey-chasers after me, and if I don’t, well, then I’m actually going to have to put some effort into hooking up and be a normal person."
Once again, you don't have to stand outside the arena in your uniform picking up women. Go to a bookstore. Go on Tinder. Take painting classes. Why does this fucking guy think his only option is "women who take immense pleasure in banging the bejesus out of high-profile athletes"? That's like thinking you can only eat seafood while you're on a boat. You don't have to. You can bring a burger. GO GET A BURGER AND STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT EATING SO MUCH SEAFOOD!!