We probably know more intimate details about DeSean Jackson’s sex life than that of any other professional athlete, but we DEFINITELY know more than we’d like to. So whether or not there’s any truth to Elizabeth Ruiz’s claim that he has a small penis, the internet has already taken us all too deep into the TMI zone to scrub this mental image from our memory banks. I’m sorry. D-Jax’s dirty laundry gets out there and I feel it is my duty as a lifelong New York Giants fan to report it because of all the pain this man has inflicted upon me and my loved ones. The only question to ask at this point is what the hell does DeSean Jackson do to cause the women he sleeps with to publicly humiliate him?
Judging by Ms. Ruiz’s history with professional athletes (ahem, Von Miller), I’d start answering that question by looking at the type of person he seems keen on hooking up with. Just saying, someone who works their way through NFL players were spaces on a sex-themed Monopoly board usually isn’t doing it to stay anonymous, and voluntarily dishing the tiny details about a big name is a great way to get attention. Don’t believe me? Well then why the hell are you reading this post?
Wow. Way to be both inhumane and racist, lady. Congrats on coaxing Jackson’s current girlfriend into a vengeance quest.
For some context on Ruiz’s background, we’ve included a slideshow that acts as a portfolio for her life’s work. (Full disclosure: she’s an Instagram model, so they’re not exactly safe for work.)