Gisele Bündchen Will Headline Olympic Opening Ceremony Along With ‘6,000 Nearly Naked Women Doing The Samba’
Its boating venues are filled with sewage and the Olympic Village has been declared unlivable, but by Odin's Raven, Brazil will do what it does best to open the 2016 Olympic Games. And that means naked women.
It's now official: Gisele Bündchen, supermodel wife of Tom Brady and author of the Super Bowl quote "My husband cannot throw the f-ing ball and catch the ball at the same time," will headline the Olympic Opening Ceremony on Aug. 5 in Rio de Janiero. Bündchen will portray the "famous Girl From Ipanema," reports the Daily Mail, and will "strut into Rio’s Maracana stadium to the strains of the famous bossa nova jazz song, played on a piano by Brazilian musician Paolo Jobim."
Details of the show have been kept secret, but insiders say it will feature 6,000 scantily clad performers and that the theme will be "the evolution of the people of Brazil," featuring tributes to the rainforest, Brazil’s famous Carnival and the country’s love of sensual dance and the female form.
"There will be lots of nearly naked women doing the samba," said a source connected with the three-hour spectacle, after a dress rehearsal surrounded by armed guards. "The costumes have been designed to show off as much flesh as possible which means as little material as they can get away with."
There have been many WTF moments in Olympic Opening Ceremony history, and of course nudity is nothing new -- the athletes used to compete that way. But the ancient games were a sausage party -- women weren't allowed. By all accounts this will be the sexiest Olympics ever. (Least sexy -- 1936, Berlin).
Otherwise it's business as usual in Rio -- tourists are being mugged by children in broad daylight.