Meet The Guy Who Definitely Has Sex With Sneakers
Fetishes aren't inherently unhealthy, right? I mean, anything that consumes your life to the point you can no longer carry out the essential duties of human existence is destructive -- it doesn't necessarily have to be sexual. Sometimes it is, though. Sometimes you just want to stick a pair of basketball sneakers in your mouth so fucking bad...GIMME YOUR JORDANS!!!
Last night on MTV's "True Life: My Fetish Is Ruining My Life," we learned how "shoe licking" is an actual thing that actual people actually do. Also, we learned that MTV still exists.
"I have a fetish. I can’t help it. I’ve had it since I can remember. It’s never going to change. I like what I like. Do I just lie about it and hope that they’re OK with it later? Do I tell them upfront and they get scared away? Or do I sit here and be single and just twiddle my thumbs and be like, 'I like shoes, I hope I can die alone happy'?"
Imagine how this guy would react if he saw Richard Hamilton's closet? Ya know what, don't imagine that. Forget about this post as soon as you're done with it.
A weird-ass promo for the episode that is definitely NSFW -- especially if you work at Footlocker -- below...
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