Daily Fantasy Football Thanksgiving
Are you ready for my Daily Fantasy Football Thanksgiving work? Oh, it's that time of the year! When young people and old alike fatten themselves up with glorious Thanksgiving meals, full of no nutritional value, incredible tastes, and coma-inducing slabs of turkey meat. And football too, I guess. It's a particularly interesting Turkey Day since the Cowboys are actually relevant this time around, with Dak Prescott somehow keeping the ship afloat despite the Romo-sized hole on its hull. The rookie combo of of Elliot and Prescott has salvaged the seemingly sinking Cowboys ship into a 9-1 record and a mighty fine showdown with the suddenly surging Washington Redskins. Captain Dak will be facing off against Captain Kirk as they battle for the right to say HOW YOU LIKE THAT?!? Then there's that....Detroit Lions game. Sure, they're leading the division but basically nobody's gonna watch that game. Still gotta show them some respect and mention some guys from that game. And to finish off the great day of Thanksgiving will be a potentially Luck-less game. No, not a game without Lady Luck, but rather Gentleman Luck, as in Andrew “I Belong In The 18th Century” Luck. He suffered a concussion and is unlikely to play, which leaves the Colts in the capable hands of Scott Tolzien against the Steelers. Yummo! Let us feast.
For this special edition of #FRYTHATTAEK I will be using well-known, highly regarded Thanksgiving food and sides instead of the usual top/value/BOLD calls. Please enjoy, and do not chastise me. I get enough of that from Drew.
THANKSGIVING PROJECTIONS | DST | KICKERS | TARGETS | CARRIES | RED ZONE | HISTORICAL | SNAPS | DEFENSE
It's usually the 1st thing that starts off the great Turkey Day meal, and perhaps your family prefers to use croissants or bread of some kind, but that's the same thing. Same thing I tell ya! It's a nice appetizer that starts off the day on a subdued bang, but a bang nonetheless. Our biscuit will be Pierre Garcon, a guy who just gets it done and isn't flashy about it. He's now seen 24 targets over the last 3 games, including last week with 7 targets for a 6/116/1 day despite a semi-healthy DeSean Jackson also playing and getting targets. Garcon has his role within the Redskins offense, and it seems no matter how the game turns out, Garcon will simply get his opportunities. Just like how you know you're gonna have some sort of bread to start off the day. Ahh...butter.
Everyone likes mashed potatoes, right? It's a side that's hard to mess up and can either set the tone or just kinda sit there all mushy and bland. It's the one ingredient that can elevate the rest of your dish, especially if you're like me and mix corn with it as well. Or it can sink your evening when you're forced to look elsewhere for the sides and get stuck with the potato salad or even worse, the way too heavy coleslaw. It's that player that can set the tone for your lineup and gets everyone else involved, or just kinda be there all boring and bland. That person will be Captain Kirk Cousins, who's been on a tear as of late. He threw for 375 yards and 3 touchdowns against the Packers last week, which continues his tidy little 3 game streak of playing great ball. Cousins lit up the Bengals in London to the tune of 458 yards and a couple of touchdowns, then followed it with a very solid performance against a stingy Vikes D, tossing a couple touchdowns as well with no picks. He'll be facing the 28th ranked Cowboys pass defense DVOA and will likely either make your Redskins stack a GPP winning strategy, or leave you unfulfilled and waiting for more. Cousins probably won't ever let you down and put up a goose egg, so he's a very solid, respectable cash option but with the upside to become that amazing mashed potatoes that's got like 3 kinds of cheese in it and a smattering of black pepper. Oh, I really like those sides.
There may be mixed feelings about stuffing, but I personally think Thanksgiving is not complete without it. A great stuffing is the cornerstone of a fantastic Turkey Day meal, as it complements with every single thing that's on the table. It's what we want to eat with turkey and shoving bread into our faces with the stuffing still in there. Yes, I'm a pig. We all remember our grandma's stuffing that she would refuse to tell us the recipe for, which just made us want it even more since it would only be available once a year. Ezekiel Elliot is the DFS equivalent to stuffing, as he can be absolutely amazing and makes you want more the following weeks. It also helps that Zeke looks like he's constantly chewing stuffing in his cheeks and packing it away for future use. He'll be facing a Redskins run defense that's been consistently gashed all season, giving up the 13th most fantasy points to the position and ranking in as the 29th worst run defense DVOA. They're also completely clueless on how to defend RBs in the pass game, as evidenced by James Starks' wide open TD pass with the closest Redskin about 30 yards away. Elliot has been crushing the NFL, leading in rushing yards and tied for 3rd most rushing touchdowns on an absurd league-leading 223 carries! That's some delicious stuffing right there.
And now, the piece de resistance. The one thing everyone looks forward to every Thanksgiving, and the centerpiece of the evening. You can't mess it up or suffer the consequences as the entire family stares at you in shame and disappointment with a hint of anger and depression. The turkey is essential to the entire meal, and it's why whoever is in charge of the turkey slaves away all day, picking and prodding while keeping it moist through whatever methods and perhaps even making it more tantalizing with a special stuffing blend in the turkey. Whatever your methods are, it's gotta be a HIT. My equivalent is Le'Veon Bell, and you'd be a fool not to have TurkeyBell in your lineups as he eviscerates the Indy defense for whatever the hell he wants. Bell can make opposing defense pay any way he chooses, just like how you can create an unforgettable Thanksgiving turkey through any means. Some like to deep fry their turkey, and that's the easiest way to get a moist, excellent turkey without suffering too much agony. That's essentially what Bell does with his receiving ability, as he's now seen 41 targets for an absurd 33/238/1 stat line. That alone would be enough for TurkeyBell to become a regional hit, but we want a national hit! Add in his 146 rushing yards and a TD against the Browns last week with his 8/55 receiving line, and you have yourself a Golden TurkeyBell that's completely worth the price of admission. The Colts defense stinks, giving up the 9th most points and ranking in as the 2nd worst overall defense as well as 2nd worst run defense. More TurkeyBell, please!
We've all experienced that dry turkey once in our lives, and usually the best way to minimize our anger and disappointment is to drown the turkey in some succulent gravy. It's what can save the day in case those heathens dare to mess with our turkey. Gravy also helps out the mashed potatoes, making it an even better side than it already is. Oh, biscuits too! Dak Prescott will obviously be the gravy for our lineups, as he can make the mashed potatoes seem way better than they actually are as well as forgetting that the turkey's kinda dry. He's coming off back to back 300+ yards passing and has thrown for 10 touchdowns over the past 4 games. Prescott's increased role in the Cowboys offense has led them to an impressive 9-1 start and he legitimately has looked like a top 10 QB over the past few weeks. The Redskins' pass defense isn't as anemic as their run defense (17th DVOA), but they're still giving up easy points to opposing QBs (16th most) plus Vegas has the Cowboys with the highest team total. With the Cowboys trusting Prescott more and opening up the playbook, he's been ripping it out in the air with much more frequency, increasing both his floor and his ceiling. Being involved in the run game at goal-line certainly boosts his value as well, which is what gravy does to all of our foods. Boosted taste buds baby!
Hopefully you haven't stuffed yourself so much that you didn't leave room for dessert. It's a treat that many people forget, they just see dessert as an afterthought. Do not make the same mistake this Thanksgiving, as that delicious non-store bought (THIS IS IMPORTANT, IT MUST BE HOMEMADE!!!!) pumpkin pie can really be the cherry on the top of your DFS lineups. That role clearly belongs to dancing whiz Antonio Brown, with his pulsating thrusts of excellence. The Colts are the 29th worst passing defense DVOA and just gave up a 9/122 line to Rishard Matthews, of all people. Matthews was able to find the holes in the Colts defense repeatedly, and he's not exactly known for his ability to run crisp routes or burn opposing defense like Antonio Brown is. Big Ben may not look like the elite QB he was early in the season, but Antonio is still playing at an elite level, only taking a backseat to Le'Veon TurkeyBell last week due to weather issues. He's still got 36 catches for 421 yards and 2 touchdowns over the last 4 games. The DR Big Board has Brown projected for the 2nd most points, ranking only behind his fellow teammate in Bell for most points. That's some sweet, sweet pumpkin pie. Don't forget the whipped cream! Seriously, don't.
Listen, no one really likes cranberry sauce. It's there for no reason other than to torment us as it jiggles and stares at you, mocking your existence. You taste it just to see what's the big deal, then immediately jolt back in utter disbelief and disgust, cursing whoever brought the damn sauce to the table. Still, it does have some uses and an expert chef can really make the sauce shine, despite the negativity behind it and its way too tart taste. Adam Thielen will be my example for cranberry sauce, a player no one seems to like nor cares about. However, an expert DFS player knows Thielen has some value to him, as Stefon Diggs is questionable to play and hasn't practiced thus far since Monday. It likely may mean nothing, but if Diggs is somehow out by the time of this writing, then Thielen is a must play. The last time Diggs was out, Thielen racked up 7 catches for 127 yards and a touchdown on 8 targets. That's not tart at all! Even if Diggs does play, and he probably will in all likelihood, Thielen against the lowly dead last DVOA Lions pass defense still can surprise some folks. Thielen's now seen 20 targets over the last 4 games and is coming off a very good game against the tough Cardinals defense, posting a 5/65/1 stat line. You might hate the pick just like you hate cranberry sauce, but it's there for a reason even if we don't know why at all.
What is this on my plate? Why is this here? Who thought this was a good idea? How dare you try to imitate my turkey with this foolishness? GET OUTTA HERE!!!! Yes, I respect vegetarians and your choice to become bland, boring people with no souls, but this is Thanksgiving and I demand my meat! Do not be fooled by this evil concoction designed to make you feel like a normal person. Golden Tate is my Tofurky play of the day, as some people may have noticed he went 11/79/1 the last time the Lions faced the Vikings this season, receiving the game winning touchdown in overtime. That's unlikely to happen again, especially since Xavier Rhodes has continued his star-studded season as the toughest cornerback to pass against, with a league leading 31.5 passing rating on passes thrown his way. The Vikings chose not to shadow Tate in that game, but I'd imagine they'd choose to at the very least try to funnel Rhodes into Tate's direction on the majority of his routes this time around, as he's been the X-Factor for the Lions and not Marvin Jones. It feels like a trap game for those picking the Lions due to their OT victory and Tate's success in Week 9. Don't let that tofurky ruin your day!
If you're one of the unlucky few that receives some sort of fruitcake on every holiday, I feel for you. I'm not sure who thought up of the idea for fruitcake, or why people continue to make it and shove that disgusting bulging mass of inedible dough into our faces. It's easily the worst thing that's on the table during Thanksgiving and it's not even close. Who's this year's fruitcake that you just can't have in your lineups no matter what anyone tells you? I choose....Matt Asiata! I have affectionally given Asiata an apt nickname that best describes what he resembles on the field. He is the Slug. Asiata is coming off back-to-back games with a touchdown, but that's about it. He offers virtually nothing else these days, as he's barely even involved in the passing game, with only 4 targets in the last 3 games. The new OC clearly sees how much of a slug Asiata is on the field, preferring to give the ball to quicker, more deserving players like Diggs and McKinnon, relegating Asiata to the role he was born for: the goal-line plodder. He's good for that 1 yard touchdown that takes him 3 carries to do it. Get that fruitcake out of my face!
I hope you enjoyed this special Turkey Day edition of the #HOTSIZZLETAEKS and weren't too terribly offended by anything I said. I wish you bums a great Thanksgiving and a miserable Christmas while I get trampled shopping for a $100 TV during Black Friday.
THANKSGIVING PROJECTIONS | DST | KICKERS | TARGETS | CARRIES | RED ZONE | HISTORICAL | SNAPS | DEFENSE
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