Zucchini: The Most Dangerous Game
They once roamed the plains in great herds, providing sustenance to Native Americans before being nearly driven to extinction by European setters moving west. Now the proud zucchini is making a comeback, but for how long?
The U.S. Dept. of Agriculture warns us that there is a strict 10-cucumber take limit in most states, excluding Maine, Alaska and New Mexico, where the limit is 14, and Oregon, where it is the state bird.
Because when the stores run out of pickles, don't come crying to us.
All hail Karmanacht, who posted this on Reddit today for whatever reason, with the simple comment: "The big one is going on the wall." But readers had more. Among my favorites:
[–]Asskickingman 292 points 3 hours ago
Ah the ever elusive zucchini. He must have found a whole den of 'em, slaughtered women and children alike.
[–]BOS_to_HNL 42 points an hour ago
[–]e42343 866 points 4 hours ago*
Yeah but he had a squash cat to flush them out. That's not the same style of hunting.
[–]learn2burn 144 points 2 hours ago*
Squash huntin' is no laughin' matter mister.
edit:Story time. When I was a young boy me and my brother used to go squash trappin' in the woods behind our house. We would set up squash traps on every tree with a squash hole in em'. Now there is somethin' you gotta know before I continue this story squash are real clever devils. One day we were goin' around checkin' and resetin' all the traps and I hear my brother holler. As I approach I see blood everywhere. And who woulda thought the squash set up a trap of their own. They put a trip wire right in front of one of our squash traps. His thigh landed on it and it severed his femoral artery. I almost lost my brother that day, but we never went squash huntin' again. Squash are real clever devils.
[–]unfair_bastard 9 points an hour ago
by the end of this at least one person will have given themselves 'genuine' squash hunting memories
[–]Spookymomma 123 points 2 hours ago
You people all make me sick. I am an activist for PETS (People for the Ethical Treatment of Squash) and you are all going to burn in hell for the atrocities I am witnessing here today. These aren't even wild squash, they're obviously from some mainstream squash farm where they take abandoned and abused squash from people that can no longer give them the care and maintenance they require...and they turn them loose into some sort of "Squash Preserve" where they sell off the rights to hunt these majestic vegetables in canned hunts for sick bastards with fat wallets. I've heard of corporate perks for fortune 500 companies giving away canned squash hunts as upper management rewards. Makes me sick to my soul. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.
[–]linktm 3 points 2 hours ago
Cucumbers, The Most Dangerous Game
Be the first to know
Want FREE Fantasy and Gaming Advice and Savings Delivered to your Inbox? Sign up for our Newsletter.