5 Franchises Theo Epstein Should Fix Next
You did it! You actually did it! Damn you to...wait, no forget that part.
Call Theo Epstein Peter Venkman, Bill Murray's most famous character, as he has ghostbusted the demons of two of the most notorious curses known to man, those of the Bambino and now the Billy Goat.
So that got us thinking...now that he has brought that elusive World Series to Wrigley Field...who's next? Here are five franchises, in baseball and beyond, we'd love to see him tackle next...
I mean, this is the obvious choice right?
If the Browns were a baseball team, it would be a bunch of seasons that would be over by Memorial Day and countless coolers of orange Gatorade would be busted. The only thing higher than Jason Hayward's strikeout rate (hey, even the best swing and miss sometimes, Theo) is the number of quarterbacks the Browns have used since their 1999 rebirth. Epstien would no doubt have to waft through a whole bunch of garbage, but with the Browns likely taking over the Cubs for the "most inept franchise in sports" belt, this has to be done.
Toronto Maple Leafs
There's just a wee bit of pressure on the Toronto Maple Leafs. Not only are they one of a select number of NHL franchises in Canada, where hockey is like a drug, but they also reside in Toronto, where the NHL literally lives, as its the home of their HQ. The Leafs have gone playoff free for all but one of the year since the lost season of 2004-05. And even when they do make the playoffs, like they did in 2013, shenanigans await as they blew a 4-1 third period lead in Game 7 in their only playoff series of the past decade against Boston. Some of Epstein's work is already done for him in Toronto...the Leafs just drafted stud prospect Auston Matthews...so a chance to be beloved in not just another market, but another country awaits.
After fixing two of America's most popular and polarizing franchises, Epstein can stay in the sport he has more than mastered, and can next work on a team we can all root for...the United States of America.
Baseball's nickname of "America's Pastime" stands strong to this day, but in the three editions of the World Baseball Classic, the sport we claim is our pastime has been a hardship to us, only advancing past the preliminary rounds once, en route to a fourth place finish in 2009. Over recent international events, we've enjoyed a revitalization of our basketball team, which has worked wonders under new leadership since the embarrassments of the early/mid 2000's. The next edition of the WBC comes this spring, so let's get Theo on board and take our pastime back!
Who says Epstein's mastery must be limited to sports? Frankly, it would've been Star Wars on this list, but JJ Abrams pulled an Epstein of his own with The Force Awakens, so Terminator it is. Like the Red Sox and Cubs, the franchise is highly regarded in its realm, that of sci-fi movies. However, while shorter than the returns to glory of Boston and Chicago, it's been way too long this franchise has had a championship product, 1991's Terminator 2: Judgement Day. Now, like the Sox and Cubs B.E. (Before Epstein) we have awful caricatures (the most recent being last year's horrendous Terminator Genisys) that feature cursed situations of their own (i.e. Christian Bale's vulgar rant on the set of Terminator Salvation).
There is no fate but what we make. But Epstein can make sure that fate doesn't end in nuclear fire for this franchise.
The United States of America
Oh please, like Epstein isn't any better than what we'll see on our ballots come Tuesday?
Just something to consider...when Epstein took the oath of (Wrigley) office, he took over a team that was extremely low in approval rating but high in losses...101 to be exact. In the fourth year of his term, though? Championship. How long is the standard US presidential term? Four years. Hmmmm?
So forget the parties of the elephant and the donkey. This election season...it's all about the Cub.
What other franchises should Theo help next? Tweet @GeoffMags5490 and keep the conversation going
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