Bob Costas Needs To Get Laid

  • Eric Goldschein

Either something is seriously bothering Bob Costas (i.e., a lack of sex) or his deadpan delivery did him a major disservice yesterday when recounting the Mets’ walk-off homer against the Cubs. Did you know that celebrating a walk-off when 14 games under .500 is a sign that Western civilization is on the decline? Let Bob Costas school you.

Projecting a dearth of joy in his own life (perhaps owing to a lack of sex?), Costas ripped the Mets for celebrating their win like they had won “the seventh game of the World Series.” I’m not sure what the Mets were supposed to do after winning a game (bow their heads sullenly, walk off the field, take cold showers, sit quietly in the dark?), but be happy was not one of them. Because if Bob Costas is not happy, no one is happy.

Here is Costas’ epic take down of the Mets during U.S. Open coverage yesterday:

Overreaction much, Bob? I don’t want to speculate more than I already have about your personal life, but maybe you should go get a massage. Sit in an easy chair and watch the sun set over the mountains. Realize that sports are supposed to be about having fun.

Note for the future: If you are joking, crack a smile. Otherwise, go get some action and come back in a better mood.

[Bob’s Blitz]