If Two People Had Died, David Ortiz Would Be Boston’s Mayor

  • Matt Rudnitsky

David Ortiz Mayor

By now, you should know that the new New York City mayor, Bill de Blasio, is a diehard Boston Red Sox fan (because you read our site!). And, file this in “dumb stories that don’t matter, but are pretty amusing,” but David Ortiz, “Big Papi”/guy who can claim to be the new Mr. October, came in third in Boston’s mayoral election.

In the least surprising story of the day, the Boston Election Department shared that Red Sox World Series MVP David Ortiz received the most write-in votes in this week’s Boston mayoral election.

There were 560 write-in votes in all, and it’s not clear how many went to Big Papi, but he received the most. We don’t know who else received write-in votes, but if we had to guess, we think there’d be some votes for “Larry Bird” and probably a few for “my buddy Murph.”

The guy actually could run for mayor right now and make a decent run at it. He’s got his slogan already (“This is our [expletive] city!”) and has shown he can kiss a baby.

Yes, all there is to being mayor of a major metropolitan city is kissing babies and cursing proudly.

I don’t know why it isn’t clear how many votes Papi received, but I’m glad it was fewer than 560. When I first read this story, I thought he was like somewhat close to the frontrunners, and I got genuinely scared. This isn’t an Arnold Schwarzenegger situation here; the dude didn’t run for mayor, at all.

So, yeah. Not really important. But still funny that there are people out there that take time out of their busy days to vote for unqualified people to run their city, just because they love their sports team so damn much. We’re not usually one to poop on people for liking sports too much, because we like sports too much, but, damn, guys: skip a Sawks game once in a while; read a book.


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