Idiots Of USA & Canada, Unite: 10 Alarmingly Stupid Tweets About David Price
Nothing like snatching all hope out from underneath some well-meaning Canadians to get Red Sox fans into the holiday spirit, amiright?!
Just as Shannon Sharpe had begun winning the Twitter war on obnoxious Boston sports fans, the Red Sox had to go and casually toss a couple hundred million dollars at the top free agent pitcher on the market; signing 2015 Cy Young contender David Price to a 7-year, $217 million dollar deal.
That my friends is the largest deal for a pitcher in the history of Majah League Basebawl, besting Clayton Kershaw's contract with the Dodgers by $2 million. And the reality is that the Red Sox still have one of, if not the best farm systems in the majors; a luxury that the Dodgers do not enjoy.
Of course there are the cynics out there who insist that throwing that much money at a pitcher will only come back to screw the Red Sox, which is wishful thinking at best. There are a few teams in the MLB that can, have, and will continue to spend as much money as their gajillionaire hearts desire with little consequence other than annoying questions about payroll when they have a rough season, and it's all the teams that you hate: the Red Sox, Yankees, Dodgers, Giants etc. The 2015 year of underdogs was a statistical abhorration.
The 2011 Cardinals won the World Series with a pay roll of $130 million, the sixth highest total payroll in the MLB.
The 2012 Giants won the World Series with a pay roll of almost $131 million, the 8th highest in the MLB.
The 2013 Red Sox won the World Series with a pay roll of $183.7 million, the 3rd highest payroll in the MLB.
The 2014 Giants won the World Series with a pay roll of 178.3 million, the 3rd highest total payroll in the MLB.
Even those scrappy, young Royals that everyone loved so much spent $128.6 million on payroll in 2015, and they won with by hitting singles and stealing bases. That's not going to happen again.
And yet, there are people that take it a little too far in the other direction with their grandiose delusions that the entire roster is getting ready to "PUT IT ALL ON THA LINE TO WIN ANOTHAH ONE FAW BIG PAPI." In case those people haven't left their homer caves on Yawkey Way in the last few years, the Davids Ortiz and Price aren't exactly the best of friends. That doesn't mean that they won't be able to squash whatever beef they've got going because they most definitely will, but let's not put the cart before the horse when it comes to team chemistry quite yet.
So in light of all this hullabaloo over yet another staggeringly large contract that is set up to disappoint a bunch of fans who cannot grasp that - even with a World Series win - it's impossible to actually live up to the expectation of a contract that big, let's break down some of the worst reactions on Twitter to baseball's biggest offseason signing so far.
Here we have the classic aforementioned cynic. First of all, if he makes it to 35 and is healthy and still in their starting rotation, they aren't going to regret a damn thing. Especially if they have another World Series banner hanging up in Fenway. Four good years out of that contract would be fantastic if you ask me.
Gratuitous use of the "Boston Strong" slogan is one of my biggest peeves. He is an athlete who was born and raised in Tennessee who is playing in Boston because they paid him the most and it doesn't involve living in the godforsaken wasteland that is St. Louis. How about you reserve the rallying cry derived from one of Boston's greatest tragedies for people who have actually lived in the city for, oh I don't know, at least a week?
This comparison is based on absolutely nothing other than the fact that CC Sabathia is also a pitcher that got a big contract. Thanks for the analysis.
Before John Henry became an owner of the Red Sox, they hadn't won a World Series in 86 years. In the thirteen years that he has been an owner, they have won three World Series. I may have a public school eduation but I know bad math when I see it, Brett.
Hey bro, I hate to break it to you but the guy was on your team for all of three months, It's not greedy to leave a city you lived in for half a minute to accept a $217 million contract offer. Most people would disown their entire family and move in with Edward Snowden in Russia if they were offered that much money to do so.
Twitter: The only place on earth where a self-pitying Yankees fan can whine about never signing anyone, without getting stoned to death right on the spot.
Yeah... Jesus had nothing to do with it, buddy.
Ugh, dittoooo. The last 25 months since they won their last World Series has literally been the worst thing ever. I can't even.
The King of Canada?! If only he'd known. I guess now all those sad Ontarians are going to have to go back to hoping that Justin Beiber will eventually come back to accept his place as their one, true ruler.
Oh god...he better cut that shit out before he gets to Boston. There are two things Boston women hate more than anything: being told how to drive in the snow, and idiots from out of state who don't know how to drive in the snow.
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