John Rocker's First Episode Of Survivor Was A Confusing Kind Of Wonderful
The first thing you should know about John Rocker's first episode of Survivor is that he tried to go incognito by introducing himself to his fellow contestants as "John Wetland". That's probably the most awesome thing that's ever happened on that show, although I can't say for sure because in the 14 years it's been on, this is the only full episode I've ever seen.
If you're a former Major League relief pitcher who wants to keep your identity a secret, is it wise to choose a fake name that's the same as another former Major League relief pitcher? John Wetteland played for four teams in the majors from 1989-2000.
But Rocker's never been known for his keen intelligence.
Good plan. Except that everyone else on the freaking island seems to know who you are -- including your girlfriend, who is also a contestant and who's babbling about it to anyone who will listen.
The former Atlanta Braves' reliever and current crackpot niche columnist had his dedut on the long-running CBS show on Wednesday night, and we already see promise. And since the show was taped ages ago and Rocker is now back in civilization (spoiler alert: he didn't die!), we get the bonus of watching him defend himself against his critics on social media.
That also gives us an idea of how Rocker has grown as a person.
The best part of that first clip above? Let's go through them in order:
1. Rocker is content to let Wes carry all the branches, as he walks along with nothing.
2. Rocker only admits who he is after Wes compliments him. "You were the man." "OK, you got me."
3. Explanation for his deceit? "I was just playing with you."
4. When he's alone, reveals that he'll try and get Wes voted off. Because no one must know my secret identity.
5. Other contestant, on another part of the island: "That's John Rocker. He's an asshole."
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