Jose Canseco Explains What He Would Do To A Guy Who Broke Into His Home

  • Evan Sporer

Jose Canseco might be the craziest athlete alive. Like, it’s gotta be between him, Metta World Peace, Dennis Rodman, and John Rocker. Canseco’s Twitter is one of the more entertaining threads on the Internet.

And now, Jose has a new way to entertain the masses: He is the newest columnist on Vice.

Canseco’s first column—which went up yesterday—is titled “José Can Say So—Control the People, Not the Guns.” With gun control always a hot-button topic among politicos, now is as good a time as any for Canseco to chime in.

This is one of my favorite excerpts from the piece:

Once, when I was about 19, I had a gun pulled on me by a younger kid. He was probably 16 or so, and he put it right in my face. My reaction was, “Put that thing away.” He jumped in his car and took off. But I’m a 6’4″ 250-pound martial arts expert. If a guy breaks into my home and comes after me but clearly doesn’t have a weapon—and I know I can defend myself—no I won’t shoot him. But I have to make sure he doesn’t have a weapon on him. And that could be a problem in the dark, after I was just startled out of bed. So it’s a very iffy situation. But, theoretically, if I was certain he didn’t have a weapon and I could defend myself (in other words he’s smaller than I am), I would not use a gun. Even if he does, I’m probably not going to shoot him above the waist; I’ll blast him in the leg or the knee.

Ah, how I tend to forget that in addition to slugging 462 career home runs, Canseco is also a martial arts expert. That’s some résumé.

We look forward to reading more of Canseco’s insight on Vice in his new Monday column, José Can Say So. Mostly because it will be completely insane.