Justin Morneau Doesn’t Need Real Teammates, He Has Imaginary Teammates To High-Five

  • Ricky Boebel

Minnesota Twins first baseman Justin Morneu had gone 168 at bats without a home run, the longest such streak of his career. Last night, his dry spell ended with a two-run dinger to right field. And because baseball players are assholes, he gets the silent treatment from his teammates in the dugout.

What does Morneau do? He pretends he has supportive teammates and he gives them some imaginary high-fives.

Morneau said after the game:

“You can stand there and look like an idiot or high-five the air like an idiot. I chose to high-five the air like an idiot. It was fun.”

This is reason #4028 why the baseball season is too damn long. Players get so bored of giving out daps they have pretend not to notice their teammate’s home run just to stay partially awake during games. There’s a reason you don’t see this in sports where the regular season actually matters.

On the other hand, I do appreciate that baseball is the last professional sport where a borderline overweight athlete can maintain a nice salary while still fucking around with his teammates. No wonder it’s America’s past-time.

[City Pages]