At first glance, Kirin Ichiban frozen beer foam sounds like the greatest thing ever, combining baseball, beer, and some sort of slurpee/ice cream float contraption. It also looks like the greatest thing ever — it looks like a Vanilla Sapporo Frosty in that wondrous, probably-deceitful photo above.
Let me first escort the elephant out of the room in relation to ‘frozen beer’ and ‘frozen beer foam.’ For reasons unbeknownst to us, beer Slurpees do not exist in a widely available or commercial form.
So, not a beer slurpee.
We wish it did, and we hoped this story would be our ornate, spiraled staircase to the heavens by showing us that the neglected purgatory between frozen-undrinkable beer, and a nice, frosty, cold one actually existed. It does not. BUT, Japanese-Beer Maker Kirin’s frozen beer foam could definitely be a solid first step in the right direction, and in the meantime serves a pretty damn good purpose: keeping your summer draft from getting warm.
Before we get you too excited: all this does is keep your beer cold. Still a noble purpose, though.
And it comes out of a Margarita Machine. Doesn’t take like a margarita though. Doesn’t taste like much of anything really.
That’s what I expected. Again, the idea sounds fantastic in theory, but I wouldn’t expect this to make my beer better. If we were drinking any sort of decent beer, it’d probably fuck up the flavor. This is why it originated in Japan, where beer sucks. But the idea is perfect for a baseball game, where your beer fries (who said fried beer?) in 10 minutes, making your
Cold Urine Miller Lite taste like actual urine, because the cold urine-like substance became warm.
If you’re getting shitty beer at a hot place like a summer baseball game, this seems like quite the play. But for any other situation, this seems like a gimmicky gimmick not worth paying any attention to.
Still: Dodgers fans, I’d love to hear your experiences with frozen beer foam, because I am purely speculating. Tweet me.