Mike Trout, Albert Pujols, And Kole Calhoun’s Futures Aren’t So Great
Mike Trout is the best player in baseball. Albert Pujols is a future Hall of Famer. Kole Calhoun is...well Kole Calhoun. But according to Orbit, the Astros mascot, all of their futures aren't too bright going forward.
We fully support mascot creativity. As impressive as it is for Mr. Met to walk around and look cool, give us the Suns Gorilla every single time. We also appreciated when the Philly Phanatic tried to have Jose Fernandez arrested. We also really don't hate that Jason Kipnis is constantly trying to take out mascot after mascot. Anything to take away from the daily baseball grind.
Last night Orbit one upped all of the other mascots in the majors, when he set up a fortune teller booth along the third base line before a game between the Astros and Angels. Orbit gave fortunes to Trout, Pujols and Calhoun and each were more hilarious than the next. First up was Trout who was told he was going to lose a dance contest to Orbit on Tuesday. Next, came Pujols, who Orbit prognosticated would have a bunt single in Monday's game. Pujols let Orbit know that was basically impossible since Pujols is old and gimpy now.
Finally, with Trout egging him on, up stepped Kole Calhoun. Orbit predicted that Calhoun would strike out on Monday night. Trout couldn't contain his laughter as he bent down and almost collapsed.
It's clear that Orbit will have a more successful career than Miss Chloe, because he nailed it. Calhoun struck out and the Astros won. We can't wait to see Trout lose in a dance contest to Orbit on Tuesday night. As for that bunt single for Pujols? We'll just assume that Orbit meant "RBI Double". It's tough seeing the future you know.
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