Spend Your $1.5 Billion Lottery Winnings On These 4 Major Sports Teams Together
So you bought your Powerball lottery tickets (those kids can get lunch next week!), and you’re ready to start thinking about what you should spend the $1.5 billion lottery winnings on. You’re a sports fan, so it’s only natural, you’re going to want to buy some really cool sports memorabilia.
Then again, why buy memorabilia, when you can just buy your way into sports!
I thought it would be a fun exercise to look through Forbes’ franchise valuations to help you decide on which sports teams you should buy.
Sure, you could blow the entire $1.5 billion lottery winnings on just one NFL team, like the Browns, Titans, Jaguars, Rams (L.A.-bound!), Bengals, Lions, Raiders or Bills! All of those teams cost more than $1.4 billion, but less than $1.5 billion, so there you go.
But since you’re a sports collector, I figure you want to get involved in several sports, so you don’t have one boring night all year!
4 Sports Teams You Can Buy With $1.5 Billion Lottery Winnings
Of course, this is all assuming you bought the only Powerball ticket with the winning numbers, and everyone else was dumb enough to buy the wrong numbers. So stupid. This also assumes you hate paying for taxes, and that these owners are willing to sell their franchises to you for this price.
Unfortunately, gone are the days of David Price and James Shields, and Evan Longoria’s bat has been shaky for a couple years now. But, look at it this way, you’ll sell a bunch of tickets when the Red Sox and Yankees come to town! Plus, if MLB gets their wishes, they’ll move this franchise out of St. Petersburg, and you’ll own a team in a new city! You also have the option of changing your team name to the South Yankees, and you can earn bazillions in merchandising revenue!
Yeah, I know, you were hoping to see an NFL or NBA team up here. But the cheapest NFL team would take up your entire winnings, and the cheapest NBA team is the Milwaukee Bucks ($600 million). That’s 600,000 bucks for the 16-win Bucks that have gone beyond the first round of the playoffs just once since 1990.
Instead, as your sports financial manager, I’m suggesting you buy the best NASCAR team in racing – and keep Rick Hendrick on to help run it, of course! Listen to this stable of drivers: Kasey Kahne, Chase Elliott (Bill Elliott’s son), Jimmie Johnson and Dale Earnhardt Jr. That’s a marketing bonanza! Plus, you’ll have Jeff Gordon coming back once in a while to help sell more merch!
You already have the Rays to help get through the dog days of summer, and now you can buy the Lightning to get you through those cold winter days in Central Florida! Both cold days!
Outside of the Edmonton Oilers and Buffalo Sabres, and maybe Toronto, no team has a better future with their young players than the Lightning – and they made it to the Stanley Cup Finals last season!
Basically, you’ll buy it off of Adrian Hanauer, and keep on minority owners Drew Carey and Paul Allen, to help you sell tickets. This American soccer club has a two-time champion as their head coach, and they play in one of the best stadiums in MLS: CenturyLink Field.
This Seattle fan base is easily the greatest in the sport (in America, at least), and the team regular sells out games. They draw about 50-percent more fans than the next highest-drawing team (L.A. Galaxy). They even have a 53-person marching band called the Sound Wave!
Total Spent: $1,480,000,000 (that’s $1.48 billion!)
You can take that extra $20 million and go buy the entire WNBA or something!
OK, here’s some bad news, there’s going to be a nine-digit tax bill due, so you won’t REALLY get to spend the full $1.5 billion lottery winnings on these sports teams. But you should still be able to buy at least one team! For just $700 million, you can be the proud new owner of the Philadelphia 76ers!!! – and probably the No. 1 pick in next year’s draft, where you can draft Ben Simmons!
What sports teams would you like to buy with your $1.5 billion lottery winnings?
"Brewster's Millions" Photo Credit: Universal Pictures
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