World Series 101: Definitive Ranking Of Celebrity Chicago Cubs Fans
The World Series is set to start on Tuesday, so if you're sick of having your precious time wasted by the increasingly sub par product that the NFL is putting out, then you should really consider going back to baseball for a week; because this match up is actually pretty epic.
The Chicago Cubs famously haven't won a World Series since 1908, and haven't even been back to a World Series since 1945. So anyone under the age of 71 has never been alive for a Cubs season this successful. Meanwhile, the last seven decades have been kind of a hot mess for the Cleveland Indians as well. Their last World Series win was in 1948, despite two shots in 1990's. They lost in six games to the Atlanta Braves in 1995, and in an excruciatingly close seven game battle to the Marlins in 1997.
For the sake of this article, we are going to focus on the Chicago Cubs,and more specifically, their vast celebrity fan base. Chicago is a city - like New York, Boston and Los Angeles - that combines a very defined sports culture with a penchant for the performing arts, journalism and other media and entertainment-related fields. So obviously the Cubs have accumulated their far share of fans who have gone on to become famous. And now, those fans are out there celebrating loudly and proudly.
Not all famous sports fans are created equal though. Some celebrity members of Cubs Nation are beloved not just by Chicago, but throughout the country. Others are, to put it simply, not. And others still lean decidedly more toward the "Dancing With The Stars" level of famous than actually famous. Either way, we are about to hear and see a lot from them over the course of the next week or two.
I've done you the courtesy of ranking them based on a combination of factors that include overall likability, visibility of fandom and general awareness of who they are. So here are 21 celebrity Cubs fans, ranked:
20. Jeremy Piven
Ew. If you weren't already totally skeeved out by Piven then please allow the unnecessary amount of filter-work on this photo to clue you in.
19. Pete Wentz
Got nothing against Pete Wentz, or Fall Out Boy for that matter. He's cool. They're cool. That's the sum total of what I feel when his name comes up, so yeah. Congrats to him for being a Cubs fan, I guess.
18. Joe Mantegna
He seems like a great guy. Probably a fantastic Cubs fan. But I had to Google search who he was, and therefore he lands down here with Pete. Sorry Joe.
PS. Just found an article that informs me that Joe wrote a play in 1977 entitled "Bleacher Bums" about "a bunch of Cubs fans in the Wrigley Field bleachers talking about their lives and lamenting the Cubs’ losing." Damnit. If Id known that earlier I definitely would've ranked him higher.
17. Jeff Garlin
16. Gary Sinise
15. George Will
For whatever that's worth.
14. Pat Sajak
13. Andy Richter
12. Bonnie Hunt
Bonnie is an American institution who should be loved and cherished for everything that she does. That is all.
11. Julia Louis-Dreyfus
10. Lance Briggs
Crossover love from players on other teams in the city is always fun, and Lance Briggs has totally been nailing it. The former longtime Bears linebacker obviously fell in love with the local team sometime during his 11 years playing there, and now he appears to be as diehard as a converted fan can be.
He's also an incredibly skilled Twitter troll, and his hilarious Clayton Kershaw one-liners on Saturday night sealed the deal for him as a top 10 celeb Cubs fan as far as I'm concerned.
9. Vince Vaughn
Vince gets top 10 celebrity fan billing purely because I imagine he will give the absolute best pre and postgame party speeches in all of Cubs Nation.
8. Jim Belushi
Legitimately haven't seen Belushi since that sitcom of his went off the air years ago. He's about as Chicago-y a guy as there is though, and he's a fixture at Cubs games. Most importantly, though, is this gem from the 1990 film Taking Care of Business"...
That's the only toast that Cubs fans need if their team wins the World Series this year.
7. Eddie Vedder
I mean, I like Pearl Jam and chilled out ukulele music as much as the next guy but Eddie Vedder is just one notch past the level of fandom that I can relate to. I've cried over sports. I've jumped around. I've had my moments. But there is just a level of pride and self control that I feel one should exercise in regards to celebrating as if you are a member of a team.
Eddie, on the other hand, was more visible on the field and in the clubhouse than some of the actual members of the Cubs were. If he were allowed to sit in the dugout on Joe Maddon's lap, I'm 100% sure that he would. Some people respect that level of devotion and so I have to put him fairly high on this list, but I personally find it all a little bit unsettling.
HE'S NOT ON THE TEAM. Ugh.
6. John Cusack
In addition to being a pretty famous actor and a self-described "apocalyptic shit disturber and elephant trainer" (not joking) Cusack is also one of the more visible Cubs fans. He's been plastered across our television screens and our Twitter feeds for the majority of the Cubs postseason run, so for that, he certainly gets loyalty points. Still, his largest detraction is that despite being very active on Twitter, he's horrible at it. In addition to the poorly captioned and weirdly blurry photo above, he also tweeted the following:
I'm sorry, what? Did he get that quote from Joe Maddon?
5. Stephen Colbert
Colbert isn't from Chicago like many of the other top celebrity fans on the list, but Chicago is his adopted city of sorts. It's the city that crafted the man we know and love today, and therefore he can claim Chicago - and it him - as far as I'm concerned. Plus he recently debuted his hot dog slinging alter ego, Donny Franks, on the Late Show, where he delivered lines like "I'm having a party later. Want to come? OK, I'll bring the beef, you bring the buns. That's a hot dog joke."
Yeah. Colbert is a delight, as is Franks. If he doesn't make an appearance during the World Series I will be sorely disappointed.
4. Jake Johnson
Johnson, just like his slovenly TV counterpart Nick Miller, is a die hard Chicago sports fan. Unlike Nick though, Johnson is not really down for shenanigans when it comes to watching his team play. Just read what he had to say to Rolling Stone about watching Cubs games now that he live in LA, and then try not to straight up fall in love with him.
"...I just like to text with my dad during the games. There's no bigger Cubs fan than him. He's my guy. The games aren't a communal event for me. I'm not going to have a big playoff party or a BBQ. I'll just order some food and maybe get a nice bourbon, a six pack and enjoy the games myself...I don't want to have an event where people are talking during the 4th inning. I want to dissect a 10-pitch at-bat and really focus on the pitch counts. I don't want to have to explain things to people or have them talking over me. I'm no teacher. If my kids want to learn something, that's super cool. If it's some adults? Get the fuck outta here. I'm no Steve Stone."
Jake Johnson is my sports fan spirit animal.
3. Nick Offerman
Offerman is a master of using the fewest words possible to convey his feelings. He is subtle and calm in a world prone to hyperbole and overreaction. He is a ride or die Cubs fan that doesn't make you feel like his fandom should be personally important to you or anyone else; which of course, makes us all love him even more.
Oh, and he apparently made sure that Cubs fans could attend his book tour and not miss out on the game, because he just gets it.
2. Bob Newhart
Welp, that's the cutest fucking thing ever. I'm leaning towards rooting for the Indians in this one for personal reasons (the glorious Terry Francona) but it's hard to see stuff like this from an 87-year-old man and not hope that after that long, he finally gets to see his team win a World Series. Nearly nine decades is a very long time to live, let alone to stick with a team that hasn't won a championship since Teddy Roosevelt was president.
For more on Newhart being a bad ass, lifelong fan of the Cubbies, read this fantastic Wall Street Journal piece.
1. Bill Murray
Bill Murray is the king of Cubs fans. It's not because he's a bigger fan or a more dedicated or loyal fan than some of these other celebs, but because he's one of the most cross-generational celebrities we have today. People ages 18-78 all love Murray. He's great with fans. He's not pretentious but he still definitely evokes a sense of cultural relevance that other, younger celebrities just can't achieve these days. He's the hip Grandpa of comedians. He's also still as hilarious and poetic as ever:
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