Worst Human Ever Snatches Baseball From Little Boy At Red Sox Game, Makes World A Sadder Place

  • Rick Chandler

Mere hours after we at SportsGrid posted an impassioned plea to adults to ALWAYS give away baseballs to children at games, this happened. It requires little explanation. In case you can’t see it: Xander Bogaerts of the Red Sox is tossing a loose baseball toward a small kid in the stands during their game with the Yankees. The kid is waiting, wide-eyed, with outstretched glove … but suddenly an evil adult fan reaches across at the last minute and steals the ball in mid-air, then slinking back to his seat with the ill-gotten prize. I’d horsewhip him if I had a horse (#Grouchoed).

The only good thing about it is that this man’s face is now on an endless loop, to be scrutinized forever. Memorize those features … note that the lout is right-handed … remember that he’s got front-row seats, and possibly has a short-man’s complex and, we imagine, a squeaky falsetto voice. Put together all of these clues and FIND HIM.

We’re not advocating violence, just banishment across the frozen East River, like in “Dark Knight Rises”. A series of painful wedgies would also be good.

To be fair, we only see a small portion of the incident … it’s possible that the man thought better of what he had done, and decided to give the ball to the boy. … Yeah right, GET HIM.

Ah, it’s probably his dad. I teach you this lesson, son to make you stronger!