Your Comprehensive Guide To Giants-Royals World Series Intangibles
The buzz here in the Bay Area is not that the Giants begin their 2014 World Series quest on Tuesday -- we've been here three times over he past five years. The prospect no longer has that new-car smell. No, the big topic in the Bay Area is that two local radio stations have banned Lorde's song, Royals, from their playlists.
No offense, Lorde, but for the duration of the World Series, KFOG Radio will be a "Royals"-free zone. We're sure... http://t.co/7uvseCjb03
— KFOGRadio (@KFOGRadio) October 17, 2014
UPDATE: A Kansas City radio station is responding to this by playing the song once an hour.
Don't laugh: in a Series as close as this one is expected to be, it's the little things that just could turn the tide. And so below we explore the intangibles -- the tiny particles that could spell victory or defeat. Wasn't it Al Pacino in Any Given Sunday who said that it's a game of inches, and that "the inches we need are all around us."? Yes, that was football, and yes, Pacino hasn't been awesome since Dog Day Afternoon. But below you have your inches. Let's begin.
The Giants have Tony Bennett (I Left My Heart in San Francisco plays at AT&T Park after every win), Steve Perry (a home fixture in the playoffs leading karaoke versions of Journey's Don't Stop Believin' and Lights) and Metallica's James Hetfield.
The Royals have the absolutely awesome song that plays immediately following wins, whatever it is. But offsetting that is their countdown to game time song by Nickelback (Burn it to the Ground), and the fact that one of their players has walkup music by Metallica: Jayson Nix (No Leaf Clover) obviously doesn't know that Metallica band members are huge Giants fans (see above).
SOCIAL MEDIA TEAM ANTHEM
The Royals have adapted Lorde's Royals (see above) for a tribute video, sung by Christian artist Matthew West. It's serviceable I suppose, but I don't think anyone is humming it on the bus, even in Missouri.
“We will always be Royals/This is more than just a game
Royal-blue running through our veins
KC let me hear you say, We will always be Royals”
This Giants' anthem was first produced in 2010, but they still use it today:
"We're here to win but in case we lose, I'm purchasing a case of booze ..."
Robin Williams has gone to the Great Beyond, so the living Giants' roster looks pretty much like this: Rob Schneider, Colin Hanks, Zoey Deschanel, Danny Glover, Lil Wayne, Bob Saget and Marisa Miller. Yes, Miller is a Victoria's Secret model, and that's worth several style points. But she's more than offset by Saget.
Meanwhile, the Royals win the category on this alone:
But Kansas City also has Rob Riggle, Johnny Knoxville, Kevin Pollack, Jon Hamm and Rudd's mom.
BEST DEPICTION IN THE COMICS
We know the comic strips below are from 1962, but how awesome is this? Charles Schulz was a Giants fan and lived in Marin County, and got pretty swept up with the events of the Giants-Yankees World Series (the Giants wouldn't get there again until 1989, and wouldn't win one until 2010). Of course Charlie Brown is referring to Willie McCovey lining out to Bobby Richardson at second base with a runner on third to end Game 7 at Candlestick Park.
Love this: Charlie Brown bellyaching over the Giants' dramatic Game 7 loss to the Yankees in the 1962 World Series. pic.twitter.com/3Xp8nZfvk9
— Bryan Armen Graham (@BryanAGraham) October 20, 2014
As for the Royals, well, Paul Rudd is going to play Ant Man in a movie. But it's not out until next year.
Yes, Lou Seal once donned pajamas and slept on the dugout when a Giants-Mets game went 16 innings and lasted past midnight. But Sluggerrr is the only mascot to be sued for hitting a fan in the eye with a hot dog launcher.
BODIES OF WATER
A man jumped into one of the fountains at Kauffman Stadium last week to celebrate the Royals victory in Game 3 of the ALCS. We assume he was prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
Quote to his wife, just as cops are coming to arrest him:
This man is playing golf. In McCovey Cove. The authorities do not care.
WHO DOES GOD WANT TO WIN?
The Royals came in as a Wild Card team and are 9-0 in the playoffs. The Giants came in as a Wild Card team and won the NLCS on a walkoff homer by Travis Ishikawa. Clearly the Ishikawa hit is the larger miracle. But let's look at some other clues:
According to CityData.com, 51.2 percent of the population of Kansas City considers themselves part of a religious congregation: in other words, attends church. The great majority of them are Christian. Meanwhile, only 34 percent of San Franciscans even identify themselves as religious, let alone go to church. Advantage, KC?
Not so fast: look at this sign in front of a San Francisco church:
Meanwhile, in Kansas City:
— kansasdotcom (@kansasdotcom) October 8, 2014
Oh yeah? Well take THIS, Royals:
— SFist (@SFist) October 6, 2014
More shots fired:
— KMBC (@kmbc) October 18, 2014
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