All I Want For Christmas Are These Three Blockbuster Trades
My unwavering devotion to the New York Knicks has lead me to some dark places over the last 29 years, and as a result, I've turned into a kind of nomadic fan, wandering the NBA landscape in search of basketball that doesn't make me want to crawl in a hole and cry. I'm not saying I've found a second team -- in my book that gets you a one-way ticket to hell -- I've merely learned to scratch my quality basketball-viewing itch elsewhere. If the Knicks had been even slightly successful over the last 14 years, I'd probably hate everything about the rest of the league because I'd consider it a threat to the Knicks' title chances, but those don't exist and I've come to learn that the Knicks have been their own biggest obstacle on that quest. To cope, I get my rocks off watching other franchises tinker with rosters through free agency and trades.
It's all I have. Please forgive me for enjoying the process that may have destroyed your favorite team at some point, it's just that I despise the league's top-heavy power hierarchy and dream about a more balanced NBA. Also, massive roster shake-ups infuse fans with the notion that their team's future is going to be better than the present. That sense of hope makes me feel alive. I want to feel alive again. Help me, Santa. Help me. Give me these three mildly plausible blockbuster trade scenarios before the trade deadline on February 19. Please.
Sad Knicks Fan
TRADE WISH #1
-- CHICAGO BULLS RECEIVE CARMELO ANTHONY
-- NEW YORK KNICKS RECEIVE JOAKIM NOAH, TAJ GIBSON
WHY I WANT IT: The numbers make sense, the Bulls get the wing scorer they so desperately wanted two summers ago, Carmelo gets a shot at a ring, the Knicks get the interior presence the so desperately need, the Porzingis era can officially begin, Noah is a true blue New Yorker who reminds me of a seven-foot Anthony Mason.
WHY I WON'T GET IT: Carmelo has a no-trade clause and the turmoil between Jimmy Butler and Derrick Rose doesn't exactly make the Bulls an enticing destination, Noah is in the final year of his contract and could bolt in free agency, Taj Gibson is 30 and his numbers are dipping.
TRADE WISH #2
-- MIAMI HEAT RECEIVE DEMARCUS COUSINS
-- SACRAMENTO KINGS RECEIVE HASSAN WHITESIDE (SIGN AND TRADE), LUOL DENG, JUSTISE WINSLOW
WHY I WANT IT: Cousins on the Heat would guarantee a Miami-Cleveland Eastern Conference Finals, Kings would get a full reboot behind a 25-year-old dominant center (who isn't extremely difficult to work with) and a promising lottery pick in Justise Winslow, Miami gets something for Whiteside, who they won't be able to afford in free agency, Justise Winslow no longer has to play behind Dwyane Wade.
WHY I WON'T GET IT: Sacramento seems content sitting on the final three years of Cousins' contract regardless of how much they lose/how unhappy he is.
TRADE WISH #3
-- NEW ORLEANS PELICANS RECEIVE DWIGHT HOWARD
-- HOUSTON ROCKETS RECEIVE RYAN ANDERSON, OMIR ASIK, QUINCY PONDEXTER
WHY I WANT IT: So I can stop reading about the Dwight Howard-James Harden drama, Rockets get a three-point shooter with an expiring contract (two things Daryl Morey loves) in exchange for a guy who was going to opt out at the end of the year, Asik gets to start over in Houston, Dwight gets to play in a small market that won't bother him when he quits, Anthony Davis gets to play with someone who's been selected to an All-Star team, Rockets don't have to worry about facing Dwight in the playoffs, guarantees additional cap space for Houston this offseason.
WHY I WON'T GET IT: Howard doesn't seem as eager to leave town as he did earlier in December, all relevant parts of this trade could very well leave in free agency this summer, Rockets GM Daryl Morey probably wants a lot more than the Pelicans can give him.
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