Amar’e Stoudemire Will Now Buy An Isreali Basketball Team With All That Money He Gets Paid To Wear Ice Bags On His Knees

  • Jake O'Donnell

Amar’e Stoudemire is owed $21,679,893 this coming season. Then $23,410,988 the year after. If he didn’t spend a dime of that money, he’d be able to pay the Phoenix Suns in 2014 (assuming they didn’t take on any new players, like, say, him). The point is, he’s rich as shit because of basketball.

And it looks like he’s paying back the sport that’s given him a $100 million contract for showing up at work half the time.

The New York Post reports that Amar’e is part of a group of investors looking to acquire the Hapoel Migdal Jerusalem basketball club. That’s right, the Bad News Bears of Israeli basketball might be getting the Amar’e bump (in fairness, they finished in the middle of the pack this season). What does he bring to the table? Well, for starters, lots and lots of fluid in his knees.

Secondly, money. Undeserved, unearned money. Lots of it.

Apparently, Hapoel Migdal are like, the Clippers of the Israeli league: routinely driven into mediocrity by poor management. So they’ll look to turn things around by selling the team to, um, a guy who routinely proves he knows next to nothing about spacing/defensive technique/catching a basketball. Par for the course, I suppose.

This, coming on the heels of the announcement that Amar’e will coach the Canadian National Team at the Maccabiah Games in Israel, only further shows his reluctance to help the New York Knicks get a Championship. Glad he’s found an outlet for all that money season ticket holders have to cough up to watch him carry a manila folder around the bench like he’s calling shots.